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My Family (2000)
Serpent's Tooth
Ben is annoyed to learn that both Janey and Susan are patients of another dentist...especially since Janey hasd a crush on this dentist. Nick uses Ben's laptop to have an 'email romance' with Isabelle - a famous model...Who's lying to who...?
Pain in the Class
When Michael is bullied by Jason Hodder at school, a meeting between his parents and Ben and Susan doesn't help at all! Janey tries to persuade Susan to let her get a tattoo to no avail. Michael later tells Susan that Janey has punched Jason Hodder. Meanwhile, Nick decides to become an internet billionaire!
Droit de Seigneur Ben
When Brigitte sets Janey up on a date with the son of Lord Whitten, She is over the moon because "he's absolutely gorgeous". Ben returns home to find that Nick has become an artist (!) and Susan has booked him tickets to the opera...to see Don Giovanni to be exact. Until listening to a tape of it, Ben doesn't want to go! When Janey tells Ben and Susan that young Whitten tried to assault her, Ben gets revenge by being less than compassionate when Lord Whitten's son needs dental work the next day...is he making a mistake?...
The Last Resort
For Susan's 40th birthday, Ben...or rather Janey...decides that he and Susan should go away for the weekend. They decide to go to a hotel they went to 20 years ago. There, they encounted a rather rampant old couple who ...put nicely...liked to occasionally swap partners! Meanwhile, Michael charges Janey and Nick £10 an hour to stay home alone.
Farewell to Alarms
When Susan worries about the rising crime rate, she insists that the family get a new alarm system - much to Ben's annoyance. Despite what Mitch, the salesman, says, Ben decides to opt for the cheapest system on offer...He'll regret his choice when the alarm just won't stop ringing!! Meanwhile, Nick decides to become a stripper while Brigitte insists on moving the furniture Ben's surgery around.
Death Takes a Policy
Ben insults Mrs Dudley, yet another of his disgruntled patients, at his surgery and also chats to Father Connolly about death. When he gets home, he has more death to talk about as Nick's new girlfriend, Emily, tries to sell him life insurance and as Susan tells him that one of her tourists died in Madame Tussauds. Meanwhile. Janey buys a water bra.
Awkward Phase
While Susan is clearing out everyone's old clothes for charity (mainly Ben's!), Michael worries about what to do on a daye...and gets advice from Nick! Also, Janey defies Susan and buys new jeans that cost £98 and Brigitte decides to 'align Ben's surgery with Mother nature' by playing Whalesong!
Much Ado About Ben
When Susan finds Viagra, She wonders why Nick has it. Later though, Ben gets ill and has to go to the hospital where he's told he has hypertension...but not before he admits to taking the Viagra even though the hypertension wasn't caused by Viagra! Also, Susan allows her yoga teacher to hold the classes in their house, Nick gives Ben mouth to mouth when he thinks he's having a heart attack and Brigitte is her usual self at the surgery.
All Roads Lead to Ramon
Ben has a new assistant but doesnt like him! Susan suggests that Nick could be his new assistant...Ben laughs so much that it's decided that Susan will give Nick a job! He does a good job...except for taking the tour group to the pub, getting arrested and taking them for a guided tour of the house! Ben gets a new assistant called Ramon. Meanwhile, Ben discovers that Janey excellent grades are down to the fact that she has several boyfriends...one for each subject, as well as 'stupid Brian'! By the way, Ramon was Nick in disguise.
The Unkindest Cut
When Susan tells Ben that she might be pregnant, He replies "But I don't like the children we've allready got!". She suggests he thinks about it. The next day, while listening to Trudy, his new assistant, talk baby talk to her boyfriend on the phone, he upsets a pregnant patient by saying how terrible children and teenagers are! When everyone finds out about Susan's secret, she breaks the news that she isn't in fact pregnant...much to Ben glee. Susan thinks Ben has had a vasectomy, but has he? Also, Nick delights Ben by telling him he's a 'Bad father'.
Parisian Beauty
Ben is convinced the french exchange student they're housing, Sylvie, wants him but who does she really fancy? Michael is horrified when he discovers he'll have to share a room with Nick! ...and Nick sets himself on fire!
Trust Never Sleeps
Ben has a new assistant who was herself dumped by her dentist husband who run off with his wn young assistant. Ben and Susan go to Oxford. When Janey has a party to celebrate getting an A in French, the neighbours complain about a man urinating out of a window...who could that be?!
Driving Miss Crazy
Ben gets another assistant who faints at the sight of blood! Janey is getting ready to take her driving test and Ben and his next door neighbour Mr Casey start a "war".
Age of Romance
Nick gets an older girlfriend called Amanda who is not only married but old enough to be his mother! Michael gets a new computer and Janey feels left out.
Get Cartier
Ben gets a new patient, Mr Smith from the mob! Ben keeps getting unwanted presents from them like, tires, meat and a watch, he tells Mr smith that he doesn't want the presents and Mr Smith tells him to give the watch back. The only problem is, Susan has found the watch and thinks it's for her, Ben goes and buys a new watch to give to Mr Smith only to find that the 1st was a fake and he'd just wasted a lot of money! Then Susan finds out that her watch is fake so Ben has to buy yet another watch to keep her happy!
'Tis Pity She's a Whore
Ben buys a bench to represent the Harper name. While trying to photograph his beautiful bench, two prostitutes take up residence on it and Ben offers them money to go away. The resulting photograph (on a timer) captures Ben in a compromising position and appears in the paper the next morning.
The Last Supper
Who will have to sleep on the side of the bed the body was found on?
Ben Wants to Be a Millionaire
Ben meets an old school friend who is now a millionaire. After being told by him about the wonders of the stock market, he and Susan decide to invest a large amount of money. Things go well at first but Ben's refusal to sell up while they're ahead costs them the lot!
Breakable
Nick's decision to become a motorbike stunt driver brings more worry for Susan while Janey's new job isn't what she expected it to be. Also, Ben's surgery is vandalised by a fired dental-assistant who wants revenge.
Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey
Janey's off to University...and Ben couldn't be happier! - just think what he can do with her room? Although Susan isn't so happy to see Janey go, she too has plans for her room. Also, Nick gets a job in a supermarket and lands the Harper's with 100s of tins of tuna, and lands Ben with a criminal record!...
Shrink Rap
Susan finds a letter on Micheal's desk inviting her and Ben to a school auction - Michael doesn't want them to go because he thinks his parents are too embarrassing. Ben also says no but Susan goes and so forces Ben to! At the auction susan bids for nearly everything and one of the things are a free couple's therepy session. Also, Ben despairs when a patient with very bad breath bids for free dental treatment in his surgery!
Desperately Squeaking Susan
Susan, still missing Janey, decides that she needs some female company and so invites Abi, the daughter of a hated cousin of Ben's, to dinner. Ben, as usual, is against her idea. Abi turns out to be the most accident-prone, clumsy person you could meet...qualities that make her someone who Ben would like to never see again: ...He'll just have to get used to her because Susan invites her to come to live with them! Also, Nick decides to become a magician - just where did Ben's favourite white jacket and watch go!?
Of Mice and Ben
Abi has to make a video project about family life and decides to film the Harpers...Ben and Susan ruin the film though! Also, Ben and Susan were terrorised by a rat that they heared on the other side of a wall!
Imperfect Strangers
After being ushered away from the university by Janey and her two male friends, Susan and Ben decide to book into a local hotel under fake names and pretend to meet eachother again as strangers. As you'd expect, it all went wrong when Ben went into the wrong room! Also, Abbi's new boyfriend had michael to contend with!
The Second Greatest Story Ever Told
The Harpers experience internal competition regarding a nativity play when both Nick and Susan audition for parts - Who will get a leading part and who will be a shepherd?! Also Ben is suffering from a severe toothache but is reluctant to put his trust in any other dentist.
Waiting to Inhale
Michael's date arrives with another boy so he decides to take Janey's advice...he tries to make Bex jealous! He pretends he's going out with Abi and it seems to work...but is it Bex who Michael wants?
Misery
When Susan, much to Janey's disgust, comes to visit her in University, Ben plans (and looks forward to) a golfing weeekend. As you'd imagine, He, Susan, Janey...and the poor university student in the showers... get more than they bargained for, especially when Nick decides to become a female impersonator who seems to take his act a bit too seriously! Also, Nick finds out how much pain is involved while waxing his legs!!
Auto Erotica
When Nick wins an old car in a poker game, he wants to use it for parts but Ben tries his best to restore it to it's former glory...sadly with little success. Will he and Susan ever get to Dorset for their anniversary weekend away? Meanwhile, Abi finds Michael in her room and has some fun teasing him.
Handful of Dust
Ben is annoyed when he discovers that his family have forgotten his birthday, but has slightly more to worry about when Janey arrives with her 'lesbian girlfriend', Katie! Is Janey really gay or has she got an ulterior motive? Also, Nick's new job involves dressing up as a gorilla and Michael seemed a little bit too interested in Katie's lifestyle...!
The Lost Weekend
When the kids go away for the weekend, Ben and Susan finally have some time to themselves...Unfortunately, it's been so long since they last had time to themselves that they have absolutely no idea how to spend it! Will they go to the museum, to see a movie...or read the newspaper?!
Ghosts
A name from the past comes back to haunt Susan, who is determined to dampen the old flame - but not before Ben gets singed
One flew out of the Cuckoo's Nest
Nick decides to get his own flat but, as always for Ben, every silver lining has a cloud ***Last in Series***
Fitting Punishment
Susan is looking forward to the birth of her first grandchild, but not to being a grandmother. Nick wants to move back in. And a new arrival at Ben's surgery has quite an impact.
They Shoot Harpers Don't They?
When Roger shows some talent at acting, Susan decides to jump on the bandwagon and takes dancing lessons...and a 'wine tasting' class! Michael is disappointed when he gets a B in an exam.
The Great Escape
Ben has neglected to fix the broken toilet seat and winds up having his mother-in-law under his roof while she recuperates from a nasty fall from the throne. Nick as usual, finds a way to exploit the situation.
Return of the Prodigal Prat
When the local paper announces Ben's death, he sees it as an opportunity to avoid doing all the things he doesn't want to do.
Owed to Susan
The Harpers' marriage is threatened by Susan's discovery that the love poem Ben wrote to woo her was not an original.
Deliverance
Janey's baby is due, and Susan insists on travelling to Manchester for the birth. The journey throws up several blasts from the past.
Blind Justice
Susan witnesses something so shocking, she becomess hystericly blind, she tries to hide it from Ben, but to no avail.
Friday the 31st
Susan decides to enter enthusiastically into the spirit of `trick or treat' for the neighbourhood children, which Ben tries to ignore until the spirits get to him
Sitting Targets
Susan decides that Ben should spend more time with Michael in case he turns into another Nick. Janey leaves the grandparents to babysit Kenzo
Loco Parents
Ben and Susan have to go back to school for parenting classes as a result of Michael playing truant.
Canary Cage
The Harpers get a free holiday to Lanzarote, and even though Ben loses his luggage, he is happy enough to use his brand new digital camera as much as possible.
May the Best Man Win
Abi's father asks Ben to be his best man, which turns out to have been a bad move
It's a Window Filled Life
The Harper house is quarantined because Roger is contagious. Nick goes into business with an eighteen-foot python, while Michael gets to grips with a rocket launcher.
The Mummy Returns
In this new series, more problems for Ben appear - Janey comes back home, Susan lies to the police, Michael's become born again and Abi confuses nature with naturism!
You Don't Know Jack
Ben has taken a dislike to Michael's geeky friend Hubert. He's therefore relieved when Michael acquires a new, and much cooler, school mate Jack. Michael is soon dressing trendily and hanging out with the cool kids at school.
What's Up, Docklands?
Ben and Susan decide to help out some friends by flat sitting their brand-new Docklands apartment.
Luck Be a Lady
Susan tries to play the role of 'matchmaker' for Roger while Ben is trying to teach Roger how to 'chat up' the ladies. Roger then gets a call girl to try and make Abi jealous but it ends up costing him a fortune to keep the 'romance alive' with her.
First Past the Post
Ben becomes jealous of Roger winning a £20 gift voucher on the Times Crossword puzzle and tries to prove to himself that he can do crosswords as quick as Roger but Susan demands Ben's full attention and support after she decides to run for the recently open post for Council to try and change to world by ridding it of Dog Poo. Michael meanwhile has got a new pregnant verminous spider - Nicola who has mysteriously disappeared from his bedroom!
My Will Be Done
The prospect of imminent death often concentrates the mind and the prospect of Ben's is no exception. After visiting 4 different websites, Ben is now convinced he has just a year left to live and decides to write his will with the secondary purpose of trying to get his children to love (or just notice) him. Susan meanwhile organises Ben's funeral, not helped by Nick taking a job at the undertakers.
My Fair Charlady.
Susan feels that she doesn't have enough time to do the housework while holding down her job, therefore decides to interview as many cleaners as possible to find the correct one. She then decides on Martha who not only does the cleaning but does the cooking as well and the rest of the family enjoy it. However as a result Susan starts to feel obsolete and tries to get rid of her by sabotaging the house and eating Ben's mint chocolate sweet left on his pillow. Meanwhile Michael is trying to get a date with a girl at school who loves football by learning everything about football as possible (much to Ben's delight as this is the only subject he knows more than Michael about) and Abi is trying to get a job at a library by learning every single word in the dictionary!
The Mouth Trap
Ben buys Susan the 33 DVD Boxset of Inspector Morse and then tells her of his rich patient who confesses to killing his wife while he was being sedated. Susan then tries to figure out the mystery behind Mr Addis and his wife while in the meantime Michael has another new girlfriend and she tries to figure out everything about it, but Michael isn't too keen on Susan finding out.
While You Weren't Sleeping
Susan is increasingly annoyed at Ben's consistent snoring while she is trying to get to sleep and suggests 'alternative' ways to deal with the ordeal, however it doesn't seem to work and leads to a separation of beds. Both Ben and Susan then have 'perfect' freedom in the lives because of this however Abi has seen this before, having witnessed 5 separations involving her dad, she feels that Ben and Susan are heading for divorced and is convinced she is the case of all family breakups. Meanwhile Janey has started her own shopping business from her room while her boiler is being fixed and is becoming an 'assistant shopper' for both Abi and Michael.
Dentist to the Stars
A filmcrew comes to town to film a new film which contains many famous british actors. Ben and Roger fight to perform surgery on the British Heartthrob who wants a 'normal classic' dentist. This leads to Roger geting tickets to the stars fashion perade and Janey finds a way to minipulate Roger to become his 'date for the night' just to mingle with the stars. Michael finds a way to make money out of the film crew by charging them extorsionate amounts of money to use the toilet. Meanwhile, Susan's tourist firm is being taken over by another company and she gets fired, she then becomes determined to take the exam, pass, then quit on the high ground.
A Wife Less Ordinary
Susan is bored with her lot and opts to run her life as a single girl again; Janey takes the opportunity to try running the home with a husband who is less than perfect; and Ben just runs away.
The Book of Love
Susan attends a neighbour's book club; Michael runs a booking agency exclusively for Roger; Ben books a seat on the sofa, but gets a new assistant too close to home.
Christmas Special
Janey is set to marry a man called Chez, who is old enough to be her father. Ben and Susan obviously aren't happy about it.
