Yes, Dear (2000)

Who's on First

Greg and Kim are hardly enamored with Jimmy's and Christine's method of potty training Logan -- stripping him naked and letting him run around in the Warners' backyard until he figures it out himself. But since Sam is the same age as Logan, Greg thinks it's time to start potty training Sam as well. Just, uh, not by using the Hughes method. Greg and Kim take Sam out to buy big kid's underwear and a bunch of potty training aids the parenting books recommend. Jimmy and Christine think all the aids -- among them, a doll called Potty Scotty that poops ping pong balls and a child's first potty training video -- are ridiculous, especially since they're not working. Kim then tries to use Greg's bodily functions as Sam's training video, without consulting Greg. After Logan trains himself before Sam does, Greg begins to wonder if they should try Jimmy's and Christine's way, but Kim thinks they should just give up and try again later when Sam's ready. Greg, however, decides to take potty matters into his own hands after he envisions Sam as a teenager who still wears diapers. Meanwhile, when Kim buys a small-screen TV for the guesthouse that's a smidge too small, she tells Jimmy they can exchange it for a bigger one since they have 30 days to return it. This gives Jimmy the bright idea to buy every expensive state-of-the-art piece of electronic equipment, put it on their credit card, enjoy them all for 29 days and then return them -- until Christine makes him take everything back. If only Jimmy had checked the store's return policy first.

Christine's Journey

The Warners and the Hughes invite the neighbors, Rob and Wendy, and their kids over. Greg decides to join a gym after seeing Rob give rocket ship rides to Sam, because he's too exhausted to give them to Sam himself. But Greg has no idea what to do at the gym and contemplates hiring a personal trainer, which Jimmy thinks is a waste of money. So he volunteers to personally train Greg himself. Christine, meanwhile, thinks about taking Logan out of day care because she's bored. Kim instead convinces Christine to go down to a temp agency and get a part-time job that she's qualified for -- passing out teeny-weeny samples at the supermarket. Jimmy loves Christine's new job -- especially the free lunch part -- but Christine hates it so much she quits, and tries her luck again at the temp. This time she gets an even worse job, and quits it too. Jimmy overworks Greg so much that he's ready to quit working out himself, until Jimmy confesses that he's only been "helping" Greg to avoid taking care of the kids. Realizing she'd stand a better chance at getting a job she'd like with a degree under her belt, Christine plans to go to college.

Guarding Greg

Jimmy invites all his security guard friends, including Billy whom he helped get on the payroll, to a poker game in the guesthouse. He neglects to invite Greg, because Greg doesn't know any of his friends. Greg finds out and feels bad, so Christine makes Jimmy invite him. Greg returns the favor and invites the gang -- Jimmy, Billy, Jack, Roy and Oscar (who doesn't speak English) -- to stop by his executive's office sometime. But Greg regrets his offer when they take advantage of it, and begin using his office as their hangout. Greg is too afraid to tell them he really doesn't want them around, though, so he uses his friendly co-worker, Stuart, as a scapegoat. His plan backfires when the guards frame Stuart to get even. And they're still hanging out in Greg's office. To clear Stuart's name, Greg confesses that it's he who wants everybody out -- including Jimmy. Now it's Jimmy who feels bad, causing Greg to make amends by inviting Jimmy and Jimmy alone to have lunch in his office. Unfortunately, Greg is so boring, Jimmy soon misses hanging out with the other guards.

Baby Fight Club

The Warners have a problem when Sam develops some aggressive behavior with other playground children. A humiliated Kim points the finger at Greg, but Greg laughs it off and thinks Kim should just let Sam grow out of it. Greg changes his tune after he has to suffer the humiliation when Sam chokes another toddler at the park. So it's off to the library to do some research on how to cure the problem. Jimmy intervenes with his usual against-the-book advice by telling Greg what he did when Dominic became violent -- he found a bigger bully kid to knock some sense into him. Only after Greg pictures Older Sam going crazy and attacking a classmate does he put the books down and agree to do it Jimmy's way. With Kim and Christine off to a baby shower, Jimmy finds a guy with a troublemaking two-year-old who's bigger than Sam, and the fight is on. Marvin, the guy, arrives with his hefty son, Todd, just as Billy and Steve drop by Greg's backyard to see the "match" in person. They're not the only ones; Kim and Christine see it in person too since they came home early. Kim stays mad at Greg, even after realizing baby fight club was the cure.

The Ticket

Greg's stunned when he gets a ticket for running a red light courtesy one of those auto-machines that takes your picture -- until he sees that it took Jimmy's picture while driving his car. Even though Jimmy promises to pay the ticket, Greg is still mad at him for borrowing his car without asking. Christine agrees and everyone arranges a deal to respect each other's property in the future. But Greg is angry when Kim breaks the arrangement by borrowing the Hughes' camera. To make it up to them, Kim decides to get their film developed herself. At the courthouse, Jimmy learns while waiting on line that he can't go to traffic school again because he's already been there once within the last 18 months. Greg, on the other hand, hasn't been... Christine has a cow, but eventually gives in to Jimmy's demands to make him a fake ID with Greg's name on it, or else Jimmy will lose his license for having too many points. Meanwhile, Greg and Kim go to get the film developed, and find out the hard way that Jimmy and Christine took naked pictures of themselves. And worse, now they're going to know Greg and Kim didn't keep their end of the deal. With Christine's fake ID, Jimmy goes to traffic school, and promptly backs into the instructor's car on his way home. Then he takes off. But somebody saw him -- Greg Warner, that is -- and tells the instructor. Jimmy tries to find a way to cover the damage to Greg's car while they and the wives are out for a ride, but there's no way he can cover the cop who pulls Greg over for a busted taillight, runs a check on the plate, and suspends Greg's license for being involved in a hit and run. Greg refuses to talk to Jimmy for the rest of the ride -- with Kim driving -- but the odds are about to even out when Christine asks Kim to stop at the photomat so she can get her pictures developed.

Halloween

On Halloween night, Greg is forced to wear a silly hot dog outfit trick or treating because that's what Sam (the kitty) pointed at when Kim (the genie) took him shopping for costumes. After Jimmy tells him to leave some candy out for the kids, Greg worries his house will get trashed while they're gone. Sam gets tricked when a seemingly sweet old lady says she'll go get him some candy -- which is the cue for her son to jump out of the bushes in a wolfman costume and scare the kids. Sam starts crying and has to be rushed home, and a furious Greg plots revenge. Christine and Jimmy think they should trash the guy's house, but Kim insists on fixing his wagon by writing a stern letter. Greg likes the trashing idea better, but gives in to Kim's wishes. So they both go to the house, drop off the letter, knock on the door, and hide so they can watch their reactions. After the old lady and the man read it and laugh hysterically, Greg and Kim return home, ready to do things the Hughes way. Greg and Jimmy head back out armed with eggs, TP and shaving cream. Unaware that Kim gave them hard-boiled eggs, Jimmy launches one at the house, smashes a window, and sets off their alarm. He and Greg hide behind the family car to avoid being seen, but when the cops show up, they're forced to get in the back seat of the car, duck down, and wait until the coast is clear. It's gonna be a long ride for both of them, for the minute the coast is clear, the old lady gets in the front seat and takes them on a trip to Vegas. They showed her, though -- while trying to escape, they accidentally let her chihauhau, Lionel, out.

The Good Dad

Greg is jealous when he meets Todd, whom he considers the perfect dad. All Greg had to compare himself to before was Jimmy, but now there's another dad who actually plays with his kids, instead of playing golf with his buddies. Worrying that he's as awful a parent as his own father, Greg has another daydream that Older Sam dedicates a toast to the man who made him who he is today -- Todd. Since Older Sam can't remember Greg's name and even daydream Todd pointed out that he's bad, Greg decides to be a good dad too by going out with Kim and Sam and Todd and his family, rather than with Jimmy. But Todd is so active that it only takes two days of non-stop activities for Greg to want out. Since Greg needs Jimmy to make himself look good, Jimmy invites the ultimate white trash family, headed by redneck patriarch Earl, to Greg's barbecue, so he can have someone who makes him look good. Greg confronts Todd and asks him when he ever gets any alone time, but learns Todd considers alone time any time he spends with his family. Greg solves his problem with a little compassion -- he erupts at "SuperDad," and chases him off. Then he tells Kim he can't be like Todd anymore, and is relieved to hear she can't stand having him around that much anyway. Meanwhile, Christine meets a slacker classmate who reminds her of Jimmy when he was in school. Not wanting to see him end up Jimmy Hughes II, she takes the slacker home to see what he's going to be like in 20 years if he doesn't start hitting the books.

Kentucky Top Hat

Greg goes through an old jacket and finds a wedding invitation Kim asked him to give to her friend, Julie Grimes, years ago. Make that ex-friend, since Kim cut Julie off for not showing up at her wedding. Greg worries Kim will think he forgot to deliver it on purpose as he never liked Julie or found her funny, which Kim, Christine -- and Julie -- all did. Christine says he should just show Kim the invitation to clear Julie's name, but he throws it away. It's only after he learns that Julie moved to LA to become a comedienne and Kim sadly feels she has no friends anymore because of what Julie did that Greg decides to pay Miss Grimes a visit to clear her name to her instead. Julie, who was crushed that Kim never invited her, is relieved that she in fact did, and agrees to patch things up -- starting with an invitation to her own wedding that she wants Greg to deliver. But Julie is as unfunny as ever, spouting one catchphrase after another, that he throws her invitation away too. Meanwhile, Jimmy feels neglected when Christine can't go to the stock car races with him because she has to study. After Christine asks him to get Dominic a haircut, Jimmy decides to turn his son into the spitting image of himself when he was a kid, courtesy a mullet. Believing Jimmy did it just to force her to pay attention, Christine demands he get Dominic's hair redone to spare the tyke humiliation. Jimmy stubbornly refuses, and the Hughes are called to school because Dominic got into a fight after another kid did humiliate him over his hair. Jimmy and Christine get into a fight of their own in the principal's office as he fears she's moving up and leaving him behind. Christine knows they're moving up together, and makes a little special time for him to prove it.

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner

Since Greg and Kim plan to go away to see Greg's folks for Thanksgiving, Jimmy wants to invite his parents over to the Warner house. But Christine doesn't want his father there as all the man does is criticize his son. Jimmy feels he can impress his pop now because he's got a great job and family. Jimmy gets his wish; after the Warners leave, Big Jimmy and Kitty arrive. And they've brought company -- Aunt Betty, Grammy and cousin Neil the ex-con. But Big Jimmy is still not impressed and keeps criticizing Jimmy since Greg foots the bill for him and he bailed out of college. Meanwhile, a blizzard forces Greg and Kim to return home, and Greg prepares to go to bed, unaware Jimmy let Grammy sleep in his room. When he finds her there, he screams so loud that he kills her. Greg tells Kim, who dials 911, then wakes up Jimmy and Christine to break the bad news. They assume that Grammy passed away in her sleep -- which Greg plays along with. After the ambulance takes her away, Jimmy tells the others that Grammy's dead. Kim, who didn't know Greg lied, lets it slip that Greg's sorry for scaring her to death. Rather than blame Greg, Big Jimmy blames Jimmy for not having his own place. Then he storms out. Jimmy smoothes things over during dinner by proposing a toast to Grammy. Big Jimmy comes back that night to apologize for storming off, and father and son make amends. Almost.

Are We There Yet?

Jimmy and Christine surprise Greg and Kim with a weekend trip to the Grand Canyon. Courtesy an RV. Christine makes them hand over their wallets so they won't try to pay for anything. The trip gets off to a bad start when the three see Jimmy rented a smelly, dirty, 1970's RV. When Christine asks where's the nice one they picked out, Jimmy says the rental place sprang extra fees and this was all they could afford. Forced by Kim to go, Greg gets a good night's rest expecting to see the Grand Canyon when he wakes up Saturday morning, but all he finds is Jimmy overslept. Jimmy speeds to make time, which makes Greg RVsick. At a rest stop, Greg has it out with Jimmy for giving him such a lousy vacation and driving so badly. Jimmy says he can drive then, and throws him the keys -- which fall right down a grate. Since Jimmy put the spare on the ring, they have to wait until Sunday morning for the RV place to FedEx a new set. Greg asks Christine to give him his wallet so they can go to a hotel, but she left them at home. So they're stuck seeing their sights in the rest stop Saturday. On Sunday, Greg wrestles the wheel away from Jimmy and injures Christine when he stops short for a squirrel-shaped paper bag. By the time she's seen a doctor (twice), it's Sunday afternoon and everyone, including Jimmy, wants to turn around. But Greg refuses to until he's seen the Grand Canyon. By the time they get there, it's Sunday night and they can't see it. The others remind Greg that all family vacations suck, so he makes amends with Jimmy. As they have to work on Monday, Greg throws Jimmy the keys -- which fall right down the Grand Canyon.

A Complicated Plot (a.k.a. Complicated Plot)

Greg's and Kim's parents all spend Christmas at the Warner house this year. Not all is merry when a discussion about how every child has their 'A' set of grandparents (the ones they love) and their 'B' set (the ones they like) makes Greg realize his parents, Tom and Natalie, aren't Sam's 'A' set. When Greg sees Sam having a great time with Don and Jenny, he snatches Sam away from them, then tries to make his parents play with him. But Tom and Natalie are so dull and awkward around kids that Greg talks to Kim about it. She tells him it's not Sam's fault that Tom and Natalie are meek. Greg turns it into a competition, insistent on making his folks the 'A' grandparents. No matter what he orders them to do to win Sam over, Don and Jenny are one step ahead of him. Greg's angry when Don decides for everyone that they'll be breaking tradition by opening their gifts on Christmas eve. And he's furious when Don and Jenny give their gifts to him, Kim, Jimmy and Christine -- they've bought the cemetery plots adjacent to their own, so everybody can spend all of eternity buried together. Greg has an outburst, demanding Don and Jenny take their present back. A near brush with death leads an unconscious Greg to dream that he did die and ended up buried with the Ludkes and the Hughes -- but not with Kim, who was buried with her second husband. After he comes to, he learns that, while he was out, the others all talked about this 'A' and 'B' thing, and he's right. So they bought a plot for Tom and Natalie too.

One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Blue Fish

At a school carnival, Kim persuades Greg to try to win a fish for Sam. Greg doesn't want a fish, so he tries to lose on purpose. But Jimmy comes along and wins it. Sam likes the fish so much that Kim gloats about how right she was. The next morning, though, the fish dies. Kim makes Greg have to explain to Sam what happened to it, so he butters him up with the promise of a new fish and some candy. Then Kim overrides Greg's explanation and tries to make Sam sad, which ticks off Greg. Since he believes she's making the situation worse and doesn't respect him, Greg starts argument #1 with Kim. Jimmy finds out about it and tells Greg that Christine is his puppet and he loses arguments with her on purpose just so they can get to the make-up sex faster. And since Greg never wins any arguments with Kim anyway, he should do the same. So Greg goes home and takes a dive, which Kim falls for. But Greg can't bear to play Jimmy's game for very long, and soon admits the truth. Which spurs argument #2. Christine tells Greg that Jimmy is HER puppet and she plays his game to get to the make-up sex faster. She also recommends Greg take another dive with Kim, as she just wants to hear she's right. But instead of doing what Christine says, Greg tells Kim what Christine told him to say... then says Kim was right. Which leads to argument #3.

You're Out...of Dreams

The Warners get some extra help around the house from their neighbor, Bernice, who's a little too eager to carry Kim's groceries and play with Sam. A chance encounter with an annoying lady at the pediatrician makes Christine realize she should start pushing Jimmy to chase his dream the same way he pushed her to go back to college. Jimmy's dream was to be an umpire -- which he didn't chase because Christine shot it down way back when. Now he says she was right the first time. Greg becomes so attached to Bernice, who baked him a pie and gave him a sweater, that he starts acting like she's his wife. Jimmy confesses to Greg that he's using Christine's destroying his dream as a trump card to get things out of her. But Greg manages to convince Jimmy that his dream isn't stupid and he should go for it. Kim lets Greg see, to no avail, that she's jealous of his affection for Bernice. Jimmy's first ump job is a textbook lesson in Murphy's Law, leaving the entire field up in arms at his extreme incompetence. Bernice's son, Peter, visits the Warner house to reclaim her. The reason she's been spending all her time there mothering Greg is she's mad at her son for moving far away and not being around as much. All it takes is a rude comment about Peter from Greg for Bernice to pack her pies and go home. Jimmy admits defeat and hangs up his umpire's uniform, but not without some sorrow about the "what if?"

Favorite Son

It's Sam's and Logan's first day of nursery school, and Kim decides to butter up their teacher with cookies. When Kim and Christine go after school to pick up the kids, Christine is upset when the teacher, Miss Brooke, fawns all over Sam, then ignores Logan. Christine tells Jimmy about it that night, but he thinks she's overreacting. After trading off with the women, Greg and Jimmy go to pick the kids up the next day. Jimmy sees that Christine wasn't overreacting when Miss Brooke doesn't even know which one is Logan. At home, Christine tells Jimmy that Miss Brooke is doing it because Kim is brown-nosing her with presents, and the two talk to Kim about it. But Kim refuses to stop sucking up, so Christine and Jimmy try to outdo her by sucking up with gifts of their own. It doesn't work, Kim realizes the error of her ways, and they all confront Miss Brooke about what she's doing. After Greg and Kim offend Jimmy and Christine by suggesting she's doing it because Sam is special and Logan is ordinary, Miss Brooke sets them straight -- she's giving Sam extra attention because he has no friends, while Logan doesn't need it as he has plenty. Miss Brooke says she didn't tell them earlier because she felt Sam needed to adjust on his own. Greg and Kim worry that they screwed up with Sam... until they remember that Logan is stupid.

Walk Like a Man

Greg is ashamed when Sam runs screaming to Jimmy for comfort during a thunderstorm. Jimmy thinks the reason Sam didn't run to Greg is because he doesn't act like a man, and suggests he let Sam watch him do manly things to change the tot's mind. Like playing touch football with Jimmy, Billy, Oscar, and Oscar's secret crush, Dot. Greg scores a touchdown during the game, but Sam misses it. What Sam doesn't miss is Greg getting knocked to the ground. Greg sees a chance to redeem himself when Billy kicks the football into a tree, it gets stuck, and nobody wants to get it. Greg decides to impress Sam as the only one brave enough to climb the tree and get it -- except right after he does, his fear of heights kicks in, and the fire department have to come help him down. Jimmy warns Greg to break the chain now, or else his wuss gene will be passed down. Greg has his chance to do so when everybody goes to the movies, and a guy won't stop talking during the film. So Greg stands up and blocks the guy's wife's view. This irritates the guy, whom Greg learns is extremely big when he too stands up. The big guy stops talking, right after saying he'll be waiting in the lobby. After the movie's over, Kim tries to help Greg sneak out, to no avail. Just when it looks like he's going to get the crap kicked out of him in front of his son, Greg catches Sam picking a half-eaten peanut candy -- which he's allergic to -- off the floor, and punches the big guy in the face in order to get away from him to stop Sam from eating it.

Greg's New Friend

Kim meets a new friend, Andrea, at Mommy and Me, and cavalierly decides that her husband, Alan, will be Greg's new friend. Greg is forced to go over to their place for dinner to meet Alan, but the guy is even more displeased with the situation and gives him the cold shoulder. After Greg complains to Kim that Alan brushed him off, she tells him he's getting a taste of his own medicine, since that's exactly what he used to do. Greg works himself into a panic about how Alan probably thinks he's friendless, especially after Kim says she invited Alan and Andrea over in reciprocation. Greg takes the opportunity to let Alan know he doesn't want to be his friend any more than Alan wants to be his. The two guys get to sharing complaints about how their wives always do this, and soon they are friends. But right after Alan and Andrea are out the door, Greg finds out Kim is sick of Andrea criticizing her and doesn't want to be friends with them anymore. After a final, fateful get-together where Kim tells Andrea off, Greg and Alan bid each other a teary goodbye. Meanwhile, when Christine fears that all the good classes for next semester will get filled up early, Jimmy suggests the two of them camp out in front of the college -- like they used to do with concert tickets -- so as to get first dibs. Once there, they clue several other students in as to what they're doing, and the other students camp out with them. Later, they're all told by an administrator that they were supposed to register online, not in line.

Room for Improvement

When Dominic keeps his parents up because he wants to sleep in their bed rather than the one he now shares with Logan (who kicks him at night), Kim offers to convert their spare bedroom into Dominic's new room. Though he doesn't use it, Greg still wants the room and unsuccessfully attempts to convince Dominic not to take it. The first night after Dominic moves in, Greg catches him walking out of the kitchen, then finds his wallet on the kitchen floor with all the money gone. Christine talks to Dominic about it, and when he says he didn't steal the money, nobody believes Greg. The next night, Greg finds Dominic returned his money. Greg tries to thank him, only to realize the kid is sleepwalking when Dominic kicks him and pokes him in the eye. Christine worries he may be suffering from stress caused by living in a new room. The third night Dominic sleepwalks, Kim is present when he smacks Greg and threatens to throw him out if he doesn't pay his rent. Kim thinks Greg's jokes about the Hughes not paying rent are the cause of it. Since she wants to make Dominic feel more welcome, Greg goes out and buys lots of kid stuff to fix up the room. But on the fourth night, Dominic bashes his new picture over Greg's head. Just when it seems nothing will stop Dominic's reign of sleep, Greg finds him and Jimmy watching videos of The Three Stooges together -- including shorts where money is stolen, a picture is bashed over someone's head, and a landlady threatens to kick the Stooges out if they don't pay their rent.

Johnny Ampleseed

Greg's old high-school girlfriend, Stacey, is in town. Greg invites her and her husband, Bobby, over to visit so he can see her again. Looking at pictures of Sam, Dominic and Logan gets Stacey and Bobby to admit that they've been trying to have children of their own -- which hasn't been going all that well since Bobby has "slow swimmers." Stacey says they came to LA because it has the best fertility experts. When Greg tells her he's there for them if they need anything, she takes his offer a little too literally, and asks for his sperm. Kim is enraged when Greg says he'll think about it, and actually meant it. After Jimmy gloats how Christine would let him do it, Kim talks with her, and learns that she was lying so as not to start a fight. She also believes Greg wouldn't do it in a million years. So Kim pulls the same act with him, and is relieved that he isn't doing it. Greg lets Stacey and Bobby down easy, but both he and Jimmy are stunned when they turn right around and ask Jimmy for his sperm instead. When Greg tries to talk them out of it and ends up putting Jimmy down in the process as not being good enough, Jimmy says he will do it -- after all, Christine said she was okay with it. Unlike Kim. Refusing to be upspermed, Greg changes his mind, and tells Stacey and Bobby, no, he'll do it. Now they have to choose. Kim and Christine are infuriated to hear that both of their husbands volunteered, so to fix things, they let Stacey and Bobby overhear a fight Greg and Jimmy have about how imperfect a man the other one is.

Dances with Couch

Jimmy and Dominic join the West Los Angeles Tribe of Indian Scouts, and meet their tribemates: Chief Carl Blumkin and his son, Kevin; Great Star and his son, Bright Star; and Talking Rock and his son, Running Rabbit. Even with his own cute Indian nickname -- Red Fox -- Jimmy's sense of humor doesn't fly with the others. Since he dreads scouting and Greg, a decorated child scout, loves it, Jimmy agrees to let him be surrogate father to Dominic for the next meeting. That way, he can have his own meeting... on the couch with a Cleveland Indians game. The others are impressed by the many feathers Greg earned when he was a scout. And since he happens to have more of them than Carl, he's made new chief. Jimmy's relief turns to jealousy when he finds out Greg drove Dominic to school. He tells Greg he'll take Dominic to school and to the meetings from now on -- which is fine with Greg, but not with Dominic. Dominic is ashamed when, on their first wilderness adventure, Jimmy kills a bunny with a rock and has trouble putting up a teepee. Jimmy finally redeems himself to the tribe when he asks a car-full of hippies to turn down their loud music; wins his first feather, the coveted warrior one; and gives it to Dominic, a.k.a. Silver Fox. Meanwhile, Billy drops by uninvited with his nephew, Nathan, whom he's taking care of for his sister while she's in town job hunting. He attempts to pawn Nathan off with Kim and Christine, who are taking the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. When they don't bite on that, Billy goes with them, and has such a good time with Nathan that he offers to take Sam and Logan back himself. But he drops a bomb on them the next day -- his sister took Nathan back home, and now he can't be bothered going.

Greg's Promotion

Greg announces that he may soon become Executive Director of Business Affairs, instead of what he is now... Executive Manager of Business Affairs. Since the new position is between him and his co-worker, Stuart, Jimmy recommends he suck up to his boss to ensure he gets it. Though initially skeptical, Greg has a chance to follow that advice when he goes to see Jimmy play at the studio's softball game, and bumps into his boss, Mr. Savitsky. Jimmy hits a home run and wins the game for his team. Then Greg gets the promotion. Greg is annoyed when Jimmy brags that his home run clinched it for him. Fearing Jimmy might be right, Greg asks Savitsky point blank if he got promoted over Stuart because he works harder. Savitsky tells him he did, but when Greg brings up Jimmy's home run afterwards, Savitsky remembers that it was because of the home run after all. Humiliated, Greg lies to Jimmy that Savitsky told him it wasn't. Jimmy pretends to be soundly defeated before revealing that Savitsky already blew his cover. A not-so-humble Greg says he isn't used to owing Jimmy anything, what, with all the things Jimmy owes him. That's the extent of gratitude he's able to muster. Meanwhile, Christine secretely takes up smoking again while studying for her finals. Jimmy catches her in the act, and she realizes she needs to quit cold turkey. Again. With the aid of wads of gum, she does, and subsequently passes her finals.

The Ring

While going over their homeowners' insurance, Greg lets Kim fetch the appraisal on her engagement ring, figuring she'll be thoroughly impressed with him when she finds out once and for all where he got it and what he paid for it. She is. And then she's thoroughly disgusted with him when she finds out when he got it -- two years before he met her. Greg admits that he bought the ring for another woman, but never proposed to her because he caught her getting it on with his roommate. His explanation falls on deaf ears, and Kim gives the ring, which she now considers tainted, back to him. To make amends, Greg surprises Kim with a brand-new replacement engagement ring. Or rather, a brand-new carbon copy of her original engagement ring -- which an insulted Kim also gives back, because it reminds her just as much of the other woman as the first one did. After a third failed attempt to pass the same ring off to her, Greg goes and gets her a different ring he personally designed himself. But her new ring is so appallingly ugly that Kim wishes she had kept her mouth shut. Meanwhile, after Jimmy refuses to rub Christine's sore feet for her because he finds the thought revolting, he too decides to make amends by surprising her with the Podia Pool 8000 foot soak machine. Initially adverse to the idea, Christine tries it out, and thinks it's the best thing this side of sex. Pretty soon, she thinks it's better than sex. A bitterly jealous Jimmy now has to duke it out with his present for the rights to his woman. And her feet.

Jimmy's Got Balls

While drawing up their will, Greg and Kim have a difference of opinion on who should get custody of Sam in the event of their deaths. Kim wants Jimmy and Christine to have him. Though Greg thinks Jimmy is too irresponsible, he ends up deferring to Kim's wishes. When they tell Jimmy and Christine about it, Jimmy wonders how they expect a mooch to raise three kids. He learns that Greg's life insurance policy will handle that. But since Greg only agreed to trust him with his son and not his money, the funds were entrusted to Greg's sister instead. Jimmy is insulted that Greg feels he's too incompetent to manage his finances. Against Greg's wishes, Kim decides to give Jimmy $1500 of their tax refund to invest to prove his mettle. After a failed attempt at playing the stock market, Jimmy takes the entire $1500, plunks it down on a wet suit and scuba diving lessons, and starts up a golf ball retrieval service, fetching balls that golfers hit into the lake then selling them for profit. Greg bumps into Jimmy, Dominic and Logan on the golf course and is disgusted when he sees what was done with his money. Factoring in all the balls he retrieved on the first day, Jimmy tells him that, at this rate, he'll turn a profit in three months. But on the second day, Jimmy retrieves so little that he realizes his golf ball well ran dry. In desperation, he enlists Dominic to help lure the balls away from the golfers. When that too doesn't turn a profit, and he then finds out that there aren't any more balls in the lake because the golfers who use the course are professionals, Jimmy is forced to take a bath and admit that Greg was right about him. However, when Greg hears that the reason Jimmy chose this particular bad investment was so he could spend time with Dominic and Logan, he sees that even though Jimmy was careless with money, he won't be careless with Sam.

Vegas Vacation

Kim isn't happy to hear that Greg's mother will be staying with them for four days, as all Natalie does is make boring small talk with her. Natalie shows up with Tom -- who wasn't supposed to be coming -- because she was worried he'd forget to take his blood pressure medication if she left him home alone. While Kim has to contend with listening to Greg's mother's chit chat, Greg has to contend with seeing his mother boss his father around like a child. Greg tells Jimmy about it, worried how Tom no longer fights back. Jimmy recommends Greg spring him for a day, so Greg invites both men to a Vegas vacation this weekend. He tries to ask his mother for permission first, but when she says Tom can't go, Greg goes behind her back and takes him anyway -- which angers both wives when they find out their husbands left without telling them. Greg and Jimmy take Tom to an amazon jungle exhibit, where Greg soon realizes that his mother has spoiled his father so much that he doesn't know how to do anything for himself -- and he really is a child. After Tom has dessert for lunch, loses his and Greg's room keys, gets lost, falls asleep by the pool, forgets to wear sunscreen, gains a bad sunburn, wanders into an animal cage, and winds up attacked by monkeys, Greg learns not to disturb the ways of nature. Meanwhile, Christine decides to help Kim with Natalie by coaxing the woman into talking about interesting things. They both get more than they bargained for when Natalie's story about kissing Ringo Starr leads straight into detailed discussion about how much trouble she and Tom have in bed.

Making Baby

Kim catches Greg off guard when she tells him she wants to have another baby. To try to talk her out of it, he uses the excuse that they're going to paint the house, and pregnant women shouldn't be around the fumes. Christine then catches Jimmy off guard when she offers their painting services. On the first day of the job, Christine and Jimmy receive a housecall from two missionaries, David and Ricky, who are going door-to-door to promote family values and do charity work... like painting houses for complete strangers. Too lazy to do it themselves, Christine and Jimmy gladly take them up on that. Jimmy's bad drinking and gambling influence rubs off on the innocent missionaries, so it's up to Jimmy and his knowledge of all things 700 Club to get them back into the faith and out of the house. Kim talks Greg into going for round 2, but just as they're about to begin, she confesses she wants another girl. And if they keep getting more boys, then they'll keep trying until they get a girl. Except Greg wants to stop at two. She decides to sway him courtesy lingerie and porn -- all of which he fends off. He's offended when she drags him to a gender selection clinic that will help increase their odds of having a girl. After a spat, he realizes how selfish he's been, and agrees to go through with it. They both proudly tell the Hughes about their plan, but the two think it's a horrible idea, as they wouldn't have had Logan if they had tried it after Dominic. The thought of losing Sam causes Kim to change her mind and call her doctor to cancel things. Greg's angry with her for wasting his time until he finds out what her doctor told her -- she's already pregnant.

Spanks, but no Spanks

When Christine catches Dominic in his fifth lie in one week, she goes to Jimmy, who decides that he has to put his foot down with the kid -- despite the fact that he's been the softie parent all along. But when Jimmy's tough talk doesn't stop Dominic from lying, he plans to give Dominic his first spanking, against Kim's advice. Christine sides with Kim at first, but then she remembers how spanking worked on her, and agrees to let Jimmy go ahead with it. Since it hurt Jimmy more than it did Dominic, Jimmy makes it up to him by offering to take him to the go-cart track. But right before their trip, Jimmy finds out from Christine that Dominic lied yet again. Although neither Jimmy nor Christine can muster up the strength to administer more corporal punishment on Dominic, they inadvertently stumble onto the answer: Jimmy tells him he's not taking him to the go-carts... thus showing him how it feels when you lie to someone.

Nitpicking

After Dominic comes back from a sleepover party with head lice, Jimmy and Christine are so fearful of what Greg and Kim might think of them that they don't say anything. Jimmy and Christine quarantine Dominic while they treat it, but Jimmy inadvertently gives it to Sam by rubbing the kid's head after rubbing Dominic's. When Sam starts scratching, a guilt-ridden Christine confesses to Greg and Kim. The lice starts spreading like wildflower when Greg and Kim both catch it next, and Greg unknowingly gives it to Mr. Savitsky, who made him try on hats. But when Greg tries to tell Savitsky, he mistakenly thinks he was the one who gave it to Greg -- until Jimmy intervenes, that is.

Sammy's Independence Day

Jimmy and Christine scoff at how overprotective Greg and Kim have been with Sam, going so far as to hold the tot's hand when using the playground at the park. Kim disagrees with them, but when Greg starts to visualize Older Sam as a guy who can't do anything for himself without mommy and daddy, he puts his foot down and blasts Kim. When she's resistant to change, Greg goes behind her back, takes Sam to the park with Jimmy, and lets the kid play by himself -- which results in Sam getting hurt. Although Kim is furious with Greg initially, she soon sees Logan doing all the things for himself that she insists on doing for Sam, and comes to terms with how smothering she's been.

House of the Rising Son

Big Jimmy and Kitty pay another visit to LA. Greg and Kim learn that Grammy's house was located smack in the middle of two restaurants, because, despite all the offers, she refused to sell it in the face of development. Now that Grammy is gone, Big Jimmy refuses to sell it as well, even though Kitty wants to move into a retirement home. Big Jimmy has a one-on-one with his son to see if he and his family would like to move out of the guest house and into Grammy's house with him and Kitty. Jimmy feels bad that he has to decline the offer, as his father hardly ever reaches out to him. Jimmy soon finds out, though, that the only reason the offer was made is because Grammy left the house to him and not her own son, and Big Jimmy, who's been living in it for free, was worried Jimmy would sell it out from under him. Jimmy is so infuriated that his dad lied to him that he threatens to do just that -- a threat which doesn't last long when Big Jimmy admits he's destitute. Meanwhile, Greg goes shopping for a new car, and, against Kim's advice, buys a compact one -- which Jimmy informs him is a chick car.

Kim's New Nanny

When Kim arranges a playdate with one of Sam's classmates, she's in for a big surprise when the girl's mother, Jessica, drops off her child - she drops off her sweet, elderly nanny, Sylvia, too. Angry about her uninvited guest, Kim ignores Sylvia at first, but when she changes her mind and gives her the time of day, Sylvia lets her know that Jessica yells at her all the time. She's just afraid to speak out against Jessica for fear of getting fired. After Jessica returns to pick up her kid and Kim witnesses her yelling at Sylvia, she tells Jessica off and asks Sylvia to come to work for her instead. But no sooner than the new nanny starts work than Kim figures out why Sylvia got yelled at -- she's incompetent. Yet Kim feels so bad for Sylvia that she can't bring herself to fire her. At least not until she discovers how many other mothers have had her and how they all managed to get rid of her. Meanwhile, when Jimmy buys a robotic dog for Dominic and then accidentally ruins it when he leaves it outside near the sprinklers, Dominic can't seem to part with the broken toy -- which reminds Jimmy of his childhood dog.

Mr. Big Shot

When Greg and Kim plan a family trip to Lake Tahoe with the Hughes, Greg remembers a classy restaurant in the area called The Pinnacle Room that his well-to-do uncle always used to tell him about. As he considers eating there a status symbol, it's a big disappointment when Kim tells him they can't book two rooms in the restaurant's lodge, as it's out of Jimmy's and Christine's price range. On the trip, Jimmy is equally irritated when he realizes Greg took a bigger room for himself. After Jimmy puts him on the spot, Greg admits that he took it on purpose because he's always felt held back on account of Jimmy's lack of money. But after a disastrous meal with Kim at the stuffy, snooty Pinnacle Room where everything that can go wrong does go wrong, Greg sees firsthand that the humble life Jimmy lives ain't so bad.

Wife Swapping

Since her doctor put her on bedrest for the week, Kim is in a bind when her babysitter calls and cancels. So Christine offers up Jimmy's babysitting services. Greg and Christine both have to go to the store to pick up stuff for Kim and Jimmy, respectively, so Jimmy recommends they both go together, even though they don't want to. Greg and Christine end up having a surprisingly good time out at the supermarket -- where Greg gets to buy the bread Kim won't let him buy -- that they cap it off with a trip to a coffee shop where Jimmy refuses to go. Kim and Jimmy, who had a bad time together, become jealous when they find out how much fun their spouses had -- and that they're planning to go out again. Greg and Christine are equally jealous when they come back from their second night out to find Jimmy giving Kim a neck rub in her bed. Jimmy and Kim decide to get even with them by pretending they're pals too. But the pair can't keep the facade up after a game of Scrabble gone awry, and blast their spouses for having fun. That's when it comes out that Greg and Christine are sick of each other's company.

Make Every Second Count (a.k.a. Sloppy Seconds)

Greg and Kim worry that they're not making her second pregnancy special after accidentally using the baby's sonogram as scrap paper. To avoid being the kind of parents who ignore their second child, they decide to get the new baby all new stuff, instead of just Sam's hand-me-downs. Jimmy and Christine both think they're overreacting, until Christine realizes they are the kind of parents who ignore their second child; they have tons of videos and photos of Dominic and almost none of Logan. Since Christine has no childhood memories from before she was 4, she assumes Logan won't either, and decides to start faking his childhood photos and videos, using Logan for the walking, talking years, and Sam and hired children for the baby years. After trying unsuccessfully to sell off Sam's nursery set, Kim changes her mind and makes Greg put it in storage just in case Sam might want to pass it on to his children. After Greg gets attacked by a raccoon at the storage locker, he sees how crazy obsessing over furniture is, and tells Kim attention is what will make the new baby feel special. Christine takes Greg's advice to heart, and, seeing how excited Logan gets watching tapes of The Wiggles, makes Jimmy take the kids to their concert with her, so she can videotape the thing. But when the band invite Dominic, and not Logan, up on stage with them, Jimmy takes matters into his own hands.

Jimmy Saves the Day

Jimmy saves the day when he spies a strange man breaking into Heidi Klum's trailer, catches him trying on (and eating) her underwear, and holds him down until the police arrive. When the story makes the local news, Jimmy's seen as a hero to everyone except Christine, who's furious that he went beyond the call of duty and risked his life in the process. She demands he quit his security job, which she now considers dangerous, and get the studio to give him a different one. Though he doesn't want to, Jimmy asks Mr. Savitsky to reassign him, and ends up the new landscaping supervisor. He grows to dig landscaping, which gives him a golf caddy and wins him the envy of former security guardmates Billy and Roy, but when he overhears a burglary in process, he tries to be a hero there too by jumping the armed assailant... who, unfortunately for Jimmy, happens to be an actor shooting a film. Meanwhile, Greg develops an addiction to nasal spray and starts having junkie-like cravings -- and later psychedelic hallucinations -- when Kim confiscates his stash.

We're Having a Baby

When Kim and Greg decide to go on TLC's A Baby Story, they run into major problems with their parents. For example, when Kim and Greg announce that they want to name the baby Charlie if it's a boy and Lucy if it's a girl, everyone calls out with their own picks for a girl. Kim's dad wants the baby to be named Rachel, and Greg's mom wants the baby to be named Margaret if it's a girl. The baby indeed turns out to be a girl, and as Kim and Greg are about to pick the baby up from the nursery, they hear Greg's dad stating that he wished that his own daughter were named Emily after his aunt who practically raised him. After overhearing this, Kim and Greg decide to name the baby Emily.

Home Is Where the Heart Isn't

When Jimmy lets Kim know that the studio has a two-week paternity leave policy -- that Greg's kept a secret -- she guilts Greg into taking them up on the offer. Though Mr. Savitsky thinks paternity leave is a joke and the policy was only put in the studio handbook under advisement from legal, Greg gets his two weeks off. On his first day at home, Greg finds out that Kim doesn't really have much of anything for him to do. While he begins missing work, Jimmy discovers that he'll lose his sick days if he doesn't use them by the end of the year, so he fakes illness and stays home with Greg and the women. Greg's worries that he's playing hooky aren't helped when Kim drags him to the movies, and he runs into Savitsky -- which makes him fear that the studio's headed for a financial trainwreck because he stayed home. Greg is even more worried when he pays a surprise visit to a company meeting during his leave, and finds a replacement in his chair and things going fine without him. After he comes home crying to Kim, she chews him out for putting work ahead of his family, but soon comes to realize that maybe one begets the other. Greg stops feeling underappreciated at work when the trainwreck happens, and Savitsky begs him to end leave early.

Trophy Husband

Dominic's school holds their annual Olympics, making Greg a very happy man since the Hughes will be out of the house for two consecutive weekends. But after Dominic bombs at every single event the first weekend -- and wins a bunch of consolation prize trophies just for participating -- Jimmy is far from happy that the school rewards losers, giving Dominic no motivation to get better. Dominic is crushed after he overhears his father badmouthing him to the other adults for winning a bunch of "garbage trophies" Jimmy feels he didn't deserve. Realizing he acted exactly like his father would, Jimmy decides to make it up to Dominic by giving him extra encouragement the next weekend. Although Dominic doesn't win, he comes in third place in one event, then tells Jimmy that he spent the week practicing in hopes of improving, because the trophies he won were garbage. Meanwhile, after Greg brings it to Kim's attention that she's overbearing with him when it comes to home decorating, she lets him go out and buy a new couch, one that he likes. But when Greg takes it upon himself to redecorate the living room -- by moving all the furniture so it's facing away from the studio audience -- Kim goes back to her old, overbearing ways, and orders him to get rid of the couch and put everything back the way it was.

Space Jam

When the Warners run out of storage room in the garage, Kim makes Greg donate a box of his old belongings to charity. But after the apathetic collection guy calls his stuff crap and tries to throw it out, Greg takes everything back. Meanwhile, when the Hughes run out of room in the guesthouse, and Christine makes Jimmy donate his old belongings to charity, Greg offers to drive him to the pickup center. Greg then surprises Jimmy by showing him what he did with the stuff -- he rented a storage locker, and set up his own private utopia with everything Kim demanded he get rid of. Jimmy piles his old junk in there, and goes along with Greg's plans to keep the place a secret from the women. Together, they offer to do all the wives' errands for them as an excuse to get away and spend some guy time in the locker. Greg and Jimmy meet their storage neighbors -- a record collector and a Star Wars fanatic -- who are in the same bind as they are with their other halves. Greg's volunteering to run all her errands makes Kim start to think he's having an affair, so she snoops around his clothes, finds a piece of paper with the address of the storage unit, and catches him cheating on her with his -- and the Star Wars geek's -- old stuff. Finally understanding how important his possessions are to him, Kim tells Greg to pack everything up and bring it all home.

Let's Get Jaggy with It

Tom and Natalie call Greg to say they're coming for a visit, because Natalie won Tom a walk-on role on JAG in a charity auction. Greg wants his parents to stay in the guest house, so he nudges Kim to ask Jimmy and Christine to sleep on the living room couch and send Logan to Dominic's room. Kim, who doesn't want the critical Natalie around, is relieved when Jimmy tells her that she'll likely be spending the whole day on the set, since JAG does day-long shoots. Kim's elation is crushed when Natalie says that she isn't going with Tom, she's staying home. Tom anxiously awaits his film debut as a jury member, as it's the first time he's ever acted in front of something besides his mirror. One of the other extras fills him in on how he and all the other "background actors" (as they prefer to be called) have perfected personalized moves to help them get discovered. Greg, Natalie, Jimmy and Christine see for themselves just what moves Tom invents when Greg brings home a tape of the dailies. With Tom's guest bit over and done with, Kim looks forward to being rid of Natalie, and Natalie looks forward to being rid of Sam, but Tom ruins their day when he announces that the producers liked him so much, they're keeping him in the jury box. After Kim nags Greg over the possibility that she'll have to put up with his mother for a couple of months -- or however long the trial lasts -- he gloats, and points out that he's had to put up with her sister and her sister's husband for a couple of years. Natalie wants to go back to Virginia almost as much as Kim wants her to, so it's a relief to both when Tom gets written off the show for overbackgroundacting.

House of Cards

Christine tells Jimmy not to buy a Valentine's Day gift for her this year, as she's come to the realization that the holiday is just a cheap ploy to get poor schmucks to spend their hard-earned money. Jimmy's glad that they're not exchanging gifts -- until Christine surprises him with a card the day before. Since he assumed a card was a gift, he stalls and gets her to agree to hang onto it until tomorrow, so they can swap on Valentine's Day. He then drags Greg out to the mall to buy one, but it's so last-minute that all the good cards are gone. Desperate, he enlists Greg's aid in tearing down the shop's huge display model, racking up $384 in ceiling damages in the process, and anticipates winning Christine's heart with his life-size card. But the only thing he wins is her wrath after she opens it and sees nothing more than "Love, Jimmy," as opposed to the long, thoughtful message she wrote in her own. Jimmy sulks while going through her old cards to him, until Greg points out to him that Christine wrote the same exact message in every one. Expecting an apology, Jimmy tries to throw the xeroxed cards in her face and gloat, but an unapologetic Christine yells at him for failing to notice it until now. Worried that her plagiarism and his writing less and less every year means the love's gone out of the marriage, Christine hands Jimmy a pen and paper, and makes him write out what he feels for her, while she does the same. When they both jot down the lyrics to Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer," they realize everything's fine.

Hustlin' Hughes

Jimmy seeks to put a stop to Big Jimmy's lies that he coached Johnny Bench and other baseball legends in the minor leagues, because Dominic believes him the same way he did when he was a child. Remembering how upset he was when he learned the truth at 13, Jimmy confronts his father, calling him on his lies. Even though there's no record of Big Jimmy having coached anywhere -- and there never was a uniform stored in the Hughes' attic like he said there was -- Big Jimmy insists he's telling the truth. Jimmy takes Greg and Dominic to a baseball card convention, where Greg calls his mother to blast her for throwing out his now-valuable collection and Jimmy tries to undo all the coaching tips Big Jimmy gave Dominic. Greg bumps into Johnny Bench, and learns straight from the source that Big Jimmy coached him in Buffalo, after all. Jimmy has to eat crow when Greg introduces him to Johnny, who in turn introduces them both to Ernie Banks and Frank Robinson, both of whom Big Jimmy coached, too. Jimmy feels terrible that his father isn't there for the reunion, so he invites the trio over to play catch up. Back at home, Jimmy, now awestruck, tells Big Jimmy that his word is good enough for him. But at his father's surprise reunion, Jimmy learns even more of the truth -- Big Jimmy stole the Buffalo Bisons' payroll and equipment, and high-tailed on out of there in the team bus, leaving the players stranded in Tennessee. Looking to even the score, Johnny, Ernie and Frank attack both Hughes, leaving them bruised, but with a clearer conscience for Big Jimmy. Since Jimmy always knew that his dad was a thief and a weasel, he decides to let Big Jimmy carry on coaching Dominic, since at least he ain't a liar.

Flirtin' with Disaster

When nobody believes Greg that his hot, new female co-worker has been flirting with him, he sets up a hidden cam to catch her in the act. Meanwhile, Billy dreams of being a masseur, but has trouble convincing his co-workers to let him practice on them.

Savitsky's Beach House

Kim throws a surprise party at Savitsky's beach house for Greg's birthday, but Greg can't have a good time, fearful that the weekend won't go well.

March Madness

Kim and Christine plan a celebration for their grandmother's 80th birthday, and most of the Ludke family will be in attendance. Greg might be getting a VIP ticket to the NCAA Final Four in New Orleans as a gift from the studio. But the date conflicts with Grandma Nan's birthday, so Kim whines and stomps her feet in hopes that he'll give it away. He gets two tickets, and gives one to Jimmy; that way, he won't be the only one avoiding the party. When Christine hears this, she handles things just like Kim. Both men stand up to their wives, and tell them they're going no matter what, but Kim lays on a guilt trip so thick that Greg eventually throws up his hands, and gives his extra ticket to Jimmy. Jenny arrives with Grandma Nan and Kim's and Christine's aunt, Millie. Greg is irked when he discovers that their uncles were a no-show, and are at home watching the Final Four on TV. Jimmy gives Billy Greg's ticket, and they both meet sportscaster Jim Nantz, who'll be covering the games, and who thinks they are so funny that he wants to borrow their lines to use in his coverage. As thanks for ghostwriting, Jim gives them VIP passes to see the game in the CBS Superdome. Greg fumes when Kim sends him out to get ice, and he comes home to find that they took the family photo without him -- as she had used it as justification for why he shouldn't go with Jimmy. When she apologizes profusely, Christine tells him he should turn the tables and lay a guilt trip on her. Greg milks it for all it's worth, it works like a charm, and Kim makes him cozy so he can watch the Final Four on the tube and listen to Jim dish out all of Jimmy's and Billy's great lines. Jim invites the boys to stay overtime and join him at the CBS party after the game, after which he'll fly them back to L.A. on his private plane. Jimmy asks Billy to assist him in lying to the others and saying that they had a horrible time, so Christine won't have anything to use against him -- even though she secretely lied to him, and didn't care if he went or not. So ends Greg's pampering from Kim.

Good Squirrel Hunting

Kim and Greg are horrified to find peanuts in the backyard, since Sam is allergic to them. Wondering who was careless enough to bring them into their yard, they soon find the culprit -- a squirrel. Greg sets up a metal trap to catch the little bugger, so that Sam will be able to go outside again. The squirrel takes the bait, but Greg is too afraid to touch it to get rid of it, so Jimmy -- who's just as scared -- has to do the honors. While en route to dispose of it, it gets out of the bag Jimmy put it in, crawls on Jimmy's leg, and ends up out of the car and back in the yard when he and Greg run for cover. Since Kim knows it won't fall for the trap twice, she hints that Greg should kill it. Greg doesn't want to, until Sam asks if he can go outside to play. While he ponders how to off the thing, Jimmy suggests borrowing a pellet gun from Billy. Kim and Christine head off to the beach, Billy pops by dressed like Elmer Fudd, and the three guys get set for some good old-fashioned squirrel hunting. Billy gives the others some camo to wear and Greg some squirrel pee to mask his human scent, then they all sit back and wait for the squirrel to show its face. But when it does, Greg can't bring himself to shoot it -- not even with his conscience, dressed up as Kenny Rogers, singing a reasonable facsimile of "Coward of the County" to him. So Jimmy takes the gun, only to find out that he doesn't have the guts to shoot it either. Luckily for Sam, Billy blows it away. That's when they all learn that that there's two squirrels, and Billy killed the wrong one. Greg finally works up the nerve to pick up the gun again and avenge the innocent squirrel's death, but he misses, and the squirrel makes a run for it -- right in front of Kim's car while in traction.

Jimmy's Dumb

Jimmy feels dumb when he's unable to help Dominic with his science project, and decides to go back in school to be smarter... elementary school. Meanwhile, Greg buys a sit-down lawn mower at a yard sale, and takes it upon himself to start mowing his neighbors' lawns.

Sorority Girl

Christine's desire to fit in better at school leads her to join a sorority, which in turns leads Jimmy to beg her to come home so he doesn't have to take care of the kids. After seeing Christine rack her brains trying to study for a test and hearing Greg and Kim talk about the study groups they had, Jimmy tells his wife that she should join a study group. Christine doesn't want to join anything where she'll feel like a square peg, but Jimmy is persuasive enough that she gives her younger classmates' group a shot. She gets cold feet when Jimmy drives her there, and she sees the group is in a sorority house. But, because of Jimmy, she marches right into Phi Sigma Gamma and introduces herself to the sisters, who are in the middle of pledging some new blood. The girls hit it off, and after studying economics, the chapter president, Katie, and her right-hand sister, Maryanne, ask Christine to join the sorority. Since Christine already bore witness to what the pledges have to do (like be human footstools), Christine tells them that she can't. So they don't make her pledge; instead, they just dub her honorary sister -- which is fine by Christine, since now she's got the pledges to cater to her. Greg and Kim think this is a little odd, while Jimmy gets hot and bothered. Greg and Kim are tortured by Jimmy's cooking in Christine's absence, and Jimmy feels similarly punished when he's forced to bathe the kids. Christine really becomes the glue holding the house together when Jimmy gets called in for the night shift, and he asks the Warners to let Logan sleep with them. Greg crashes on the couch, because Logan was "beating him up" while asleep, and Christine heads home to get some rest, which prompts an angry Katie to order the pledges to kidnap her and bring her back to the house. But instead of kidnapping her, they see a lump on the sofa, and kidnap Greg. Since Greg screams like a girl, it's not until they bring him back to the house and take off the sack they carried him in that the sisters see their mistake. Jimmy is furious the next day when he learns that Christine is partying with the girls, to celebrate all of them passing, and goes to kidnap her. He puts his foot down when he gets there, and tells Christine that her family needs her. But Jimmy succumbs to the spell of the party, and Christine convinces him to stay, get drunk and par-tay. When Kim gets hung up on by Jimmy, she makes Greg rush out late at night and bring them both back. Greg threatens to call the cops on the sisters for kidnapping him, so the pledges re-kidnap him. The next morning, Jimmy and Christine wake up hungover in the backseat of their car, and she promises to be more responsible. After which a cop knocks on the window to let them know that the woman whose car they're sleeping in would like them to get out.

Savitsky's Tennis Club

Mr. Savitsky invites Greg to join him and his new Playmate wife, Lisa, at a charity dinner for the homeless, because he got stuck buying a table and has six seats to fill. Greg makes Kim go -- not because he wants to help the homeless, but because he wants to impress the boss and further his career by having Kim schmooze Lisa. Desperate to help him fill the other four, Greg reluctantly agrees to let Jimmy, Christine, Billy and Billy's price-memorizing supermarket clerk date, Debbie, tag along. When Greg sees Kim not doing what he asked, he orders her to go talk to Lisa, but the woman is such a foul-mouthed, lush-faced, sex-obsessed bimbo that Kim ends the conversation in disgust. After a very smashed Christine steps in and hits it off with Lisa, Greg changes tactics and decides they'll both go to Savitsky's tennis club -- via a trip that Savitsky put up for auction at the dinner -- so the four of them can spend the whole day together and Kim can win Lisa over without it looking desperate. Yet, every time Greg places a bid, he gets outbid by a man who tells him that Savitsky doesn't actually want to play tennis with anyone, and paid him to outbid everyone. The silent auction ends with the man as the winner, and an enraged Savitsky finds out that he has to pay $4000 to play tennis with himself. Lisa breaks the camel's back by inviting Christine and Jimmy to a match. So Greg grabs Kim, and tries to butt in on their game. But the Warners and the Hughes end up playing each other, as Savitsky and Lisa want to sit one out and play whomever wins. Greg and Kim massacre Jimmy and Christine. Kim wants to throw their match with the Savitskys, while Greg wants to beat them so they'll be seen as worthy competitors. After he lays a guilt trip on her and claims she never supports him, Kim slams the ball... and nails Lisa right in her implants. While Lisa is being retouched, Savitsky informs Greg that she doesn't like Kim. He then makes Greg give Jimmy a raise; that way, Christine can afford to take Lisa shopping on Rodeo Drive to make it up to her.

When Jimmy Met Greggy

When Greg tells Jimmy he never does anything for him, Jimmy shares with him a story back in ye olden days -- the 1980s -- when Jimmy, Billy and their friend, Brian, were just a trio of pizza delivery boys with bad hair, and Christine was a lowly waitress at Howard Johnson's. Jimmy flips his lid when Christine lets him know that Kim is coming by with her new boyfriend, as this is going to crush Brian, whom Kim used to be dating before college -- especially since Greg, said new boyfriend, will be staying on Jimmy's couch and mooching off him. When Jimmy meets Greg for the first time, he wonders what on earth Kim sees in him. Tough guy Brian comes over uninvited, and begs Kim to take him back. After she asks him to leave, he plans to beat Greg up, but Jimmy gets him to hold off on his plan of action by saying he'll get rid of the new boyfriend in his own way. So Jimmy takes Greg to a diner, where he learns that Kim is his first, and tries unsuccessfully to scare him off by lying to him about how Kim wants to get married and pop out kids ASAP. Brian stops by -- together with Billy -- eager to dish out his own brand of justice. He tells Greg that Kim's a slut, and Greg demands he take that back... or else. When Brian won't, Greg tries to fight him, but only succeeds in getting his ass kicked. Over and over again. Jimmy drives a bloody and bruised Greg home, and they both make up a story to Kim that some thugs jumped him. Kim then turns to Jimmy for advice on whether she really should let Brian go, but when he hears how important having a family is to her, he advises her to stick with Greg.

Natural Born Delinquents

Greg plays tough uncle when Jimmy and Christine aren't as strict with Dominic and Logan as he would like. In the not-too-distant future -- one where Emily is a walking, talking toddler -- Greg has issues with Dominic's and Logan's complete lack of rules, worried that their unruly ways will rub off on Sam and Emily. Refusing to buy into the "different styles" parenting approach as the cause of it, Greg has a talk with Jimmy and Christine, and insists they make their kids eat their vegetables, for a start. But even with their grudging cooperation, Dominic and Logan don't listen to Greg, and storm off without eating their vegetables. Since he doesn't cater to Jimmy's "pick your battles" excuse and figures he could do a better job raising the Hughes' kids, Greg decides to start being their disciplinarian. And he starts by forcing the diabolical duo to pick up the Cheetos® that they spilled in the back of his car while fighting over the bag. When they both refuse, Greg punishes them both by making them sit in his car, instead of going to the movies and the arcade with the rest of the family. While Christine wonders if she really is a bad parent since Sam and Emily are much better behaved than her spawn, Greg spends hours unsuccessfully trying to teach the two a lesson, and eventually makes the other adults call a cab without them. So many hours that night falls, the gates to the parking garage get locked, and he blows out his tires going the wrong way over metal pikes. After losing the war, Greg comes to understand why Jimmy and Christine pick their battles, and hands the parenting reins back to them -- which makes them realize they're not bad parents, they just got bad kids.

Hooked on Comics

Greg and Natalie are humiliated to hear that hooked on comics worked for Tom -- and that he wants to go to Comicon as his hero, Superman. Tom enters retirement, leading Greg to wonder what the elder Warner will be doing with his time once he and the missus arrive in L.A. for their usual visit. A humiliated Natalie informs her son that Tom has turned into a comic book junkie--one who's obsessed with Superman to the point of playing dress-up. With her insistent that he do something about his father's regression, Greg asks Jimmy to help him get his old man interested in some more atypical old man hobbies. Like golf. And model cars. And motorized airplanes. After Tom strikes out at all those things, he asks Greg to join him at the San Diego Comicon, in order to understand where he's coming from. Greg reluctantly goes with Jimmy, where he meets Tom's pre-pubescent internet buddies, and suffers through them all doing a Superman talent show. After the show, Greg tells Tom that he should be ashamed of himself, and Tom finally admits that he has something in common with Superman -- they're both adopted. Meanwhile, when a woman thinks Emily is a boy, due to her mother giving the tot Sam's hand-me-downs, Natalie criticizes Kim's taste in baby clothes so much that Kim throws up her hands and lets Natalie go shopping for Emily -- an errand which makes her want to shop for Kim, as well.

Spare Parts

Jimmy has designs on scriptwriting, and begs Greg to ask Savitsky to listen to his movie pitch. Billy asks Greg to do him a favor and pull some strings to get him an audition for a movie shooting at the studio, since he's eager to get back into the acting game -- even if it's for a part called Big Guy on Scooter. Seeing his good deed in action, Jimmy asks Greg to pull some strings and get him a pitch session with some movie guys at the studio. Greg turns him down cold, and when an annoyed Jimmy asks why he'd help Billy and not him, Greg tells him that Billy's more disciplined than he is. In private, Kim demands that Greg help Jimmy get what he wants, but Greg feels he's already helped him enough, getting him the job and a place to live. Plus, it'll just look bad, since Jimmy is his brother-in-law. When Greg is finally persuaded, or so it seems, he hands Jimmy a stack of books and scripts to read before he'll agree to go through with it, fully expectant that he'll never bother to read them. But Jimmy surprises him by reading every last one, and Greg hems and haws, and ultimately refuses to help. So while Greg is in an important meeting with Mr. Savitsky, Jimmy barges in and does the pitch without Greg's approval. Jimmy sells his heart out on his futuristic sci-fi romantic action-adventure called "Spare Parts," but despite all his dolls, color posters and spunk, Savitsky isn't interested. Yet, after hearing the entire spiel, Greg realizes what a good idea Jimmy had after all, and encourages him to get back on the horse and try elsewhere.

Speed Dating

Greg competes with Jimmy to see who can score more interested women via speed dating. Billy enters himself into a 5-minute speed dating service, and Jimmy agrees to drive him there. When they arrive, Billy gets cold feet, so Jimmy decides to join him in the ring for moral support. Billy strikes out due to nerves, but Jimmy's nonchalant attitude towards the whole thing lands him callbacks from 24 out of 30 women. While Christine gloats with Jimmy over how many chicks are interested in him, Greg states that he could snare more women using the same service, because he's a much better catch. When the Hughes laugh, Greg turns it into a contest, and signs up for the service behind Kim's back -- something which she's not happy about after he gloats about how well he thinks he did. But when he and the others all check out the scoreboard online, a disappointed Greg sees he only got 21. Greg tries to pin the blame on the day of the week he went, but Jimmy resumes gloating when he sees that one of the women who voted "no" to another date with Greg voted "yes" to another with him. Greg becomes quite the sore loser, and heads down to the office where that one woman, Katherine, works as a dentist, to find out why she liked Jimmy and not him. The gloatee becomes the gloater when Katherine admits that she felt he was out of her league. She also gets the wrong idea about his visit, thinking he came because he wants her. Greg plans to race home to rub it in Jimmy's face, but before he can, Jimmy apologizes (at Christine's urging) for being a jerk about things, because, since Greg has got so much more than he does, he had to brag about the one thing he got. Just when it seems like Greg will continue the illusion to keep up Jimmy's spirits, he blurts out what Katherine said. Yet, Jimmy finds a way to turn it around and continue gloating.

Big Brother-in-Law

When Jimmy gets accepted as a contestant on Big Brother, the thought of him and Christine having enough money to get their own place makes Greg takes drastic measures to see to it that Jimmy wins. Jimmy decides to throw his hat in the ring and make a tape application for Big Brother. Greg thinks he's wasting his time. At least until Jimmy is surprisingly accepted on the show, after which he's just upset. At least until Christine reminds Greg that the $500,000 grand prize could buy her and Jimmy a house. Greg and Kim agree to help Christine out with the kids while Jimmy's gone, and Jimmy blunders his way into the Big Brother house by first mugging for the camera, then missing his chance to snag a decent bed, and finally getting himself locked out. He soon recovers from his missteps, and manages to win over his eleven younger, slimmer, hotter roommates by being that loveable, huggable, old guy whom they can all talk to. That loveable, huggable, old, unmarried doctor guy they can all talk to. Expectant that Jimmy will win the game and get the hell out, Greg starts looking for a new home for the Hughes, but Jimmy's gay, black roommate, Marcellas, throws a wrench into those plans after he wins HOH, and nominates Jimmy for eviction, as a pawn for "that bitch Alison," the other nominee whom everyone wants gone. After Marcellas is shown on TV saying to her that he set Jimmy up by stealing a pair of fellow contestant Lisa's underwear and telling everyone else that Jimmy stole them, Greg fears the worst, rushes over to the set, breaks into the house during the live eviction, and, in front of multiple cameras, blurts out to all the contestants that Marcellas is framing Jimmy, before being dragged away kicking and screaming by security. None of the players actually get a chance to vote, since Greg's actions get Jimmy disqualified from the game. While the two guys are sitting on host Julie Chen's couch, Julie ruins Greg's day by showing him that Marcellas was lying to Alison as part of his alliance with Jimmy, and everyone was going to vote her out. When Julie asks Jimmy if he's disappointed that Greg blew it for him, he boasts that he may have to leave the Big Brother house, but he'll never leave the Warner house.

Dominic's Buddy

Jimmy's unorthodox punishment for Dominic, who was bullying a nerd at school, backfires on the elder Hughes. Jimmy and Christine are not happy when they are visited by Harold Nicholson, whose son, Ronnie, goes to school with Dominic -- and who Dominic is bullying. Harold is happy to hear that they'll have a talk with Dominic. Even though all the kids pick on Ronnie, when Jimmy has a sit-down with Dominic and Dominic says that he put a worm in Ronnie's sandwich, Jimmy hits him with the worst punishment he can think up -- he forces him to be Ronnie's buddy. Harold drops Ronnie off at the Warner house for the kids' first playdate, and Jimmy sees just how nerdy Ronnie is when he's too scared to play baseball. His plan doesn't quite take hold the way he hoped -- although Dominic does end up liking Ronnie, rather than Dominic rubbing off on Ronnie, Ronnie rubs off on Dominic. And rather than playing baseball, the kids make Jimmy's jaw hit the floor when they play Ronnie's favorite pastime in the backyard -- putting on a musical. Even though the others all think he did a good thing, Jimmy wants to hide his face in shame. Moreso when he finds out Dominic is also being bullied at school, because he and Ronnie put on a show there, too. So he has a talk with the boys, and when they tell him they ran away from the bullies, he demands that they stand their ground next time. Upon hearing this, Harold returns, even more upset than the last time, for he's perfectly content with both him and his son being complete wusses. Since he himself was bullied in school, Greg sympathizes with Harold, while Jimmy -- well, he was a bully. When Jimmy and Greg get into a "nerds versus bullies" argument, Greg proves to him that nerds can stand up to bullies. By punching him in the face. Meanwhile, Greg is disappointed when Kim's efforts to "keep things fresh" in the bedroom become stale, as she keeps wearing the same blonde wig. So she tells him to put on a costume for her benefit. After playing bankrobber, cowboy, fireman, GI, Mardi Gras slut, and Middle-Eastern skank, they both decide to return to playing themselves.

Legoland

Greg plans to one-up Jimmy in the fun dad department by taking the kids to Legoland®. It's Take Your Kid to Work Day, and Greg and Jimmy bring Sam, Dominic and Logan to the studio to see what they do for a living. Greg is so little fun that Sam doesn't want to spend the day with him, opting instead to spend it with Jimmy -- naturally, since he's a big kid himself. Fearing he's not a fun dad, Greg becomes dejected, and decides to surprise the family with a trip to Legoland®... complete with a ride in an Oscar Mayer® Wienermobile™ that he borrowed from the lot. The trip gets off to a bumpy start, thanks to heavy traffic and a lot of people who expect Greg to sell them a hot dog. It only gets worse when Sam wants to go on The Dragon roller coaster ride -- the kind of ride that makes Greg sick -- and Jimmy offers to take him and Dominic in Greg's place. So Greg is pretty much forced to accompany Sam, only to end up ralphing all over him in transit. Kim consoles Greg while he's consigned to sick bay, telling him that he's a good dad, which is loads more important than a fun dad. Still, right after he gets over his nausea, he lets the kids see what a fun dad he is by showing them the lifesize Lego® dinosaur he built while they were staying with Kim, Christine and Jimmy. And at last, Greg manages to one-up Jimmy, who is Lego®-challenged.

The Day of the Dolphin

Greg is less than thrilled with Kim's latest thoughtful birthday gift to him. Meanwhile, Jimmy plans to go to extremes to get even with an old flame who dumped him. Because Kim's thoughtful birthday presents to him have all been "too much work," Greg decides to start dropping oh-so-subtle hints for her benefit, so she'll get him what he wants this year: a set of golf clubs. When Jimmy spots Kim typing away on her Apple PowerBook®, and she tells him she located her old neighbor by using Yahoo!® search engine, he asks her to look up Alex Jaffey -- the girl he dated before Christine. And dumped him. Greg suspects he'll get to play golf on his birthday when Kim tells him she's taking him to San Diego for the big event. Since Kim refuses to help, Jimmy emails Alex himself, twists the truth about what he does, and asks that she write him back, in hopes of finding some way to show her up. When Alex writes him back, he finds out that not only is her life terrific and she's happily married with child, but she lives nearby. She readily accepts his insincere offer to come see "his" house, so he invites her over on Greg's big day, when both he and Kim will be in San Diego and Christine will be taking care of the kids. Kim blindfolds Greg to surprise him, making him one disappointed birthday boy when she takes it off, and he finds out he's not at a golf course, but at SeaWorld. She signed him up for the dolphin "Trainer of the Day" program. Jimmy is forced to come clean with Christine about his "classmate" reunion after she cancels her plans to take the kids out on the day Alex is supposed to show up. When she gets miffed about him tracking down his ex, he consoles her by saying that Alex was the only girl who ever dumped him, and he wanted to fix her wagon by letting her see how great his life is without her. Now Christine wants to help him get even, so she coaches Dominic and Logan, and she and Jimmy "Hughes" up the place. Jimmy is crushed after Alex stands him up, but when Christine wants to lie the extra mile courtesy Photoshop®, he realizes that he doesn't need Alex's approval. Greg sulks through his birthday gift, steadfastly refuses to even go through with the dolphin-training, and admits to Kim that he thinks her gifts are tiresome. When she reminds him that he used to like trying new things, he changes his tune, and goes through with the training. And he has a great time. Even if he didn't pick the right time to train them.

Jimmy and Chuck

Chuck Norris is shooting a movie at the studio (where he plays a security guard), but looks are deceiving for Jimmy, who idolizes the guy. The studio is shooting a movie about a security guard. To research the role, the star is going to be following around Jimmy, Billy and Roy for a week. As they soon find out, the star is none other than Chuck Norris. Jimmy idolizes him, and hopes that the two of them can become friends -- so much so that he dreams they're starring in a movie together. Meanwhile, Billy and Roy have their own dreams of appearing on TV with Mr. Norris. The next day, the three all get themselves dolled up for Chuck, and show the Texas Ranger their daring line of work. Helping a woman who's locked herself out of her office. When the guys fight for Chuck's attention and Jimmy gets mad at his buddies, Chuck uses him as his inspiration, and invites him over to his place to hang out -- in order to soak up more of his personality for his role. But Chuck's personality isn't quite what Jimmy thought it was after he arrives at the Norris house, and sees firsthand that Chuck is just another boring father whose greatest sense of adventure is changing a diaper. Jimmy thinks things might actually get exciting when Chuck invites him to the gym -- only it turns out to be a kiddie gym. When Chuck starts phoning Jimmy to ask for child-rearing advice, Jimmy realizes he needs to make a clean break. So he takes Chuck to a bar, and tells him he doesn't want to hang out anymore, because the great action hero isn't interesting enough for him. As Chuck plans to walk out of Jimmy's life, a big, bad biker picks a fight with him, and Chuck proves to Jimmy that he's every bit the tough guy he played on TV. But now that Jimmy wants to hang out after all, it's too little, too late.

A Bunch of Ice Holes

Jimmy injuring his back making out with Christine throws a wrench into Don's plans to take him on a father-son ice-fishing tournament. Kim and Christine sign Don and Jimmy up for a father-son ice-fishing tournament -- to the delight of Don, as he gets to fish with the son he never had. But right before the big day, Jimmy and Christine decide to "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel," and Jimmy wrecks his back in the process. Because the trip means so much to Don and because Greg has always said he wanted his father-in-law's approval, Kim and Christine plead with Greg until he finally agrees to go in Jimmy's place. Which doesn't sit well with Don. Since his dad never took him fishing, Greg doesn't have the foggiest clue how to, and hopes he can learn from Don. What he doesn't learn how to do from him is have a good time, because Don is too busy not having one. The two guys manage to share a bit of a bonding moment when Don tells him about how his grandfather gave him his first rod right before his death. But Greg kills the mood when he accidentally knocks Don into their fishing hole. While trying to warm up, an angry Don tells his son-in-law that he ruined the trip. After Greg replies that he only went on it because Kim and Christine made him, and he's done trying to like him because he's a jerk who will never like him back, Don admits that he does like him. Sort of. Meanwhile, Jimmy inadvertently discovers the perfect remedy for his sore back when Kim volunteers to housesit for their neighbors, the Weinsteins, who live in the lap of luxury -- right down to a jacuzzi in the living room. Pretty soon, Christine, Jimmy, Billy, Roy -- and even Kim -- are taking advantage of the place while the Weinsteins are away.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Greg makes an unhappy Kim be Mr. Savitsky's "escort" to an art gallery, but then becomes unhappy himself when Kim gains her own personal reasons for continuing the charade. Meanwhile, when Logan learns that all of his clothes once belonged to Dominic, he decides to protest hand-me-downs -- by taking them off, and going around town in his tighty whities. Up for a spot on the LA County Museum of Art board, Mr. Savitsky wants to see to it that he gets in with the important people. When Greg informs him that Kim, who's visiting his office with the kids, majored in art and could be of help, Kim is all too happy to offer her services. Later, Savitsky tells Greg that he really needs her services -- in the form of someone to go with him to a cocktail party for the museum's trustees. To help further his career, Greg asks Kim, but she thinks the whole thing is weird. But after thinking it over, she realizes it'll be her chance to mingle with the upper crust of the art world, and decides to do it -- all the while, with Jimmy and Christine making fun of them for acting like pimp and ho. Kim has a great time, gets to meet some of her favorite artists, and is all too eager to be be Savitsky's "escort" again. But Greg becomes jealous when a picture of her and Savitsky winds up on the cover of "Variety," Kim looks too happy, and everyone around the office thinks she's a hooker. Yet, Savitsky wants to "borrow" her for another luncheon, and Greg can't say no. When that's over and done with, Greg is relieved that Kim won't have to put herself out for Savitsky anymore, but he gets even more jealous when she returns home and tells him that she's keeping up the charade, because one of the curators asked her to be a chairwoman -- meaning she can finally put her art degree to good use. So Greg goes to Savitsky, and tells him he's uncomfortable with the arrangement. And Savitsky helps him be more uncomfortable -- by telling him he's in love with Kim. Greg tells Jimmy, who tries to calm him down, but Greg storms home, planning to order Kim to stop seeing Savitsky. He's shocked to find Savitsky in his house sitting on the couch with her. Just when he's about to kick his boss' ass, Savitsky informs Greg that Kim is "breaking things off." Meanwhile, Logan is mad after he sees Dominic wearing all his clothes in the family photos. When Jimmy and Christine tell him they're hand-me-downs -- and Logan learns that every single last article of clothing of his was Dominic's -- Logan takes a stand, and takes everything off, save for his underwear. Jimmy tries to point out to the tot that everyone will laugh at him if he goes outside like that, but that's fine with Logan. No matter what Jimmy or Christine say, Logan won't put his clothes back on, and goes all over town in his tighties. It's not until they all bump into a cop, Logan tells his sad story, and the cop threatens to take Jimmy and Christine to jail if Logan doesn't get some clothes on that the situation gets resolved -- they have to buy him new clothes.

Who Done It?

When the upstairs toilet overflows and soaks the living room ceiling, Greg plays detective, hoping to uncover the mystery of who broke his radio and flushed a piece of it down the crapper. Greg and Kim come back from vacation to find their living room ceiling dripping water and Jimmy, Christine and the kids all trying to mop it up. Jimmy suspects a tree root grew into the pipes and caused the upstairs toilet to overflow, but when Greg calls a plumber, he finds the culprit -- a broken piece of plastic. Dead set on proving that Jimmy flushed it (so much so that he has the plumber smash a hole in the living room wall to fetch it), Greg shows it to Jimmy, but Jimmy doesn't know how it got there. Greg doesn't believe him, so he takes the plastic piece down to the local precinct, and attempts to get them to match the fingerprints on it with other things Jimmy touched. The officer on duty won't help, but thanks to a handcuffed criminal, Greg at least manages to find out what the plastic is from -- his Bose® clock radio. Greg returns home, and makes like Perry Mason, retracing Jimmy's steps as he relays what happened that fateful morning: Jimmy woke up from sleeping in the Warner bed, grabbed Greg's radio, headed into the master bath, plugged it in, popped in his Poison CD, danced around while he brushed his teeth, knocked over the radio, which crashed in to the toilet, and remembered to flush. After Jimmy laughs off that story, Kim finds Logan's Wiggles CD in the radio, and Logan admits that he dropped the radio on the stairway. With Kim nudging him, Greg grudgingly apologizes to Jimmy, but he still suspects something is fishy, and believes Logan is covering for his daddy. After unsuccessfully grilling the kid, Greg thinks he's found the final piece of the puzzle in a spot of grape jelly smeared over a dent in the wall outside the master bath, proving that it didn't break on the stairs. After confronting the Hughes, who both tell him that Jimmy doesn't eat grape jelly, Greg realizes who's the only one in the family who does -- Sam. When Sam runs away, Logan confesses that he and Sam were playing, Sam took the radio, dropped it in the hallway, and flushed the broken piece down the toilet. He then covered for Sam so he wouldn't get into trouble. Feeling pretty low, Greg lets Jimmy chew him out, and then says he's sorry.

Greg Needs a Friend

Kim, Jimmy and Christine all take it upon themselves to help Greg find a friend when he needs someone to go to a jazz festival with him. Greg comes home with a present from the studio: two tickets to a jazz festival. Expectant that Kim, Jimmy and Christine will all be fighting each other for the privilege of the other ticket, Greg's in for a rude awakening -- none of them want to go. So he plans to ask one of his other friends. Only there's just one problem. What other friends? His employees, Phil and Mike (whose names he can't even remember), turn him down. His good buddy in the mid-'90s moved away and didn't tell him. After Kim tells him to go make new friends, Jimmy recommends the "friends seeking friends" section of the LA Weekly. He manages to find a jazz lover right away, but Greg isn't interested. Not even after they all go out to a bar and grill and spring it on Greg that not only did they answer the jazz lover's ad without telling him, but his new friend just walked in. An annoyed Greg takes one look at the guy, decides he's too nerdy, and refuses to talk to him. After telling the others that he'd rather be friends with this popular, cool regular in the joint, they all nudge him into asking that guy to be his friend. Greg hits it off with the cool guy, while Jimmy feels bad for Tim, the nerdy guy, for being stood up, so he pretends to be Greg, goes up to him, and acts like a real pill to drive him away. Greg's new friend, the gnarly, surf-lovin', "brah"-spoutin' Rob, stops by the house to "hang." Greg soon learns that "hanging" involves dropping by Rob's friend's Lydia's body piercing/tattoo place to finish up a tat. And when Greg mentions to them that he always wanted an earring, he soon learns just how much they hurt when Lydia pierces his ear without asking him. Rob returns to the Warner house to ask Greg to meet him and his brahs at the opening of a cool, new, late-night club -- so late-night that it's past Greg's bedtime. Greg gives him the OK, and waits in his car late at night, but when Rob calls him up to push their plans back an hour, Greg falls asleep, and wakes up to find his car being towed. The day after, when Rob knocks on his door for a third time and tells Greg that he doesn't want to go to the jazz festival, Greg decides he's been a poseur enough, and calls it quits with Rob. He goes to the sold-out jazz festival at the Hollywood Bowl by himself -- with a sign that says "Need a ticket?" And when he bumps into Tim holding a sign that says "Have a ticket?," Greg finally finds his friend.

Big Jimmy Babysits

Jimmy is upset when Greg, Kim and Christine all tell him that they don't think Big Jimmy is responsible enough to watch the kids. Big Jimmy comes to visit, and confesses that he feels left out over seeing his fellow senior citizens bonding with their grandchildren, when he hardly knows his. Jimmy convinces his dad to join him and Christine in taking Dominic and Logan to Six Flags. But when Jimmy's work schedule interferes with the day Big Jimmy wants to take them, he offers to take the kids himself and give Christine the day off. Big Jimmy even offers to take Sam and Emily, but after Greg and Kim turn down his offer, a disappointed Jimmy discovers that they don't feel comfortable having his father watching their kids. When Jimmy goes into the guesthouse to fume, he then finds out from Christine that she isn't comfortable having Big Jimmy babysit Dominic and Logan either. When Jimmy asks why, she reminds him that he was in and out of the emergency room when he was a kid, thanks to Big Jimmy's irresponsible parenting. After flashing back to his past -- recalling all the crazy stunts he did at home, while a befuddled Big Jimmy was oblivious -- Jimmy finally sees the light, and asks Christine about what to do. With some helpful advice from Greg, Christine concocts the perfect scheme to let Big Jimmy take the kids to Six Flags -- they pay their 15-year-old babysitter, Sara, to tag along on the trip and tell Big Jimmy that she's Dominic's friend's sister. But when Big Jimmy wonders why a girl her age needs a babysitter, Jimmy tells him the truth -- Sara is a drug-addicted, alcoholic, stripper-runaway who has sex with truckers. All goes according to plan, only now Big Jimmy wants to take the kids out again tomorrow. After Jimmy clears it with Sara and suggests the zoo, he and Christine think everything will work out again. But after returning home from a day out, Jimmy and Christine listen to their answering machine messages, and hear that Sara had to cancel due to a family emergency -- and Big Jimmy took Dominic and Logan to the zoo without her. Rushing off to the zoo, Jimmy and Christine see Big Jimmy sitting by himself, and assume that he lost the kids (since he did lose them during his phone call home). Jimmy blasts his father and spills the beans about Sara, after which Big Jimmy points out to him that the kids are standing a few feet away. When Big Jimmy questions what's going on, Christine and Jimmy confess that they paid Sara, because they didn't trust him. Big Jimmy scolds them for doubting his sitting skills, and they both feel pretty low, planning to make it up to Big Jimmy by letting him babysit whenever he wants. Which is when Dominic has flashbacks to all the crazy stunts Logan did at the zoo while a befuddled Big Jimmy was oblivious. So the kid tells his dad how Big Jimmy babysits.

Mama Said Knock You Out

Jimmy sees a chance to get even with his tough female supervisor when he learns Christine is a menace in the boxing ring. Jimmy, Greg and Kim are all worried when Christine's hair starts falling out in clumps, and advise her to go to the doctor to get it checked out. The doctor tells Christine that she might be stressed out, and should exercise more. Since Kim and Greg work out at the studio gym (which offers free day care), Kim invites her to join them. Although she'd sooner go bald, Christine gives in, and Kim even manages to convince Jimmy to tag along for moral support -- by telling him that she gets hot and bothered seeing Greg work out. After the four bump into Billy and Roy at the gym -- who go to scope out the chicks -- Kim confesses to Christine that she doesn't get hot at all when Greg works out, but it's the only way she can get him to exercise. Jimmy is no happy camper when he and Roy see their masculine boss, Bess, in the middle of boxing training. Jimmy suspects that Bess hates him, which certainly seems the case after she jokes that he's fat and out-of-shape, but is too afraid to say anything out of fear that she'll fire him. After's Bess' session is over, Jimmy hops into the ring, and Christine soon follows his lead. The two decide to put up their dukes for fun, but Christine gets a little too rambunctious -- and knocks Jimmy out in front of the whole family. While nursing Jimmy at home, Christine says that she feels revitalized, but Jimmy is too sore to help her celebrate. When Bess takes potshots at Jimmy the next day at work, he challenges her to a match -- her and Christine. Bess tells him it's on, and Jimmy hopes that Bess will finally shut up after Christine whoops her butt. Jimmy tricks Christine by bringing up her health and recommending she get a new sparring partner. Why, like Bess. Jimmy acts as Christine's trainer for the big event, but Christine doesn't hit Bess anywhere near as hard as she hit him, and Bess quickly knocks her out. After the match, Bess tells Jimmy off for letting his wife fight his battles for him, which is when Christine learns of his diabolical plan. Once Bess has left, Christine shows him how hard she can hit, as she takes out all her aggression on him. Realizing that the only times she's felt good recently were when she was hitting him, Christine tells Jimmy that the cause of her stress is him. When he asks her why she hasn't been letting him know when he does something that bothers her, she says that she doesn't want to be the kind of nagging shrew wife that Kim is. But after he finds out what it is about him that bothers her, instead of changing, he suggests they go to the gym once a month so she can beat him up.

Dead Aunt, Dead Aunt...

Greg wants to bail on a marriage encounter group Kim dragged him to, and a phone call regarding a dying aunt could be his ticket out. Greg gets stuck accompanying Kim to a church-sponsored marriage encounter, figuring that she must have asked him to go with her when he wasn't listening to her. As it turns out, she didn't ask him; she "reminded" him about his agreeing to go, since he never bothers to listen to her. They leave the kids with Jimmy and Christine before making the drive. After they've left, the Hughes listen to an answering machine message from Cousin Paula, who notifies them that Great Aunt Claire is in the hospital and not expected to make it, and it would mean a lot to the woman if she could see her favorite nephew once more before she goes. As Jimmy doesn't have a Cousin Paula or a Great Aunt Claire, he and Christine try to call Greg on his cell phone to notify him. But since the encounter group frowns on outside interference, Kim won't let Greg answer it, and Jimmy and Christine have to hire a babysitter to watch the kids, so they can head out to the encounter group to tell Greg. Meanwhile, Greg and his buddy, Artie, are miserable suffering through their spiritual group leader, Bob, blather on about how to make good marriages even better. Greg wants out in the worst way, so he's relieved when Jimmy interrupts the proceedings to tell him about his Aunt Claire. He doesn't actually have an Aunt Claire -- it was a wrong number -- but Kim doesn't know that. And when she sympathizes with him and lets him know that Bob understands they have to leave early, Greg doesn't bother to tell her. All of a sudden the voice of morality, Jimmy -- who, along with Christine, knows Greg's secret -- chews Greg out at a gas station for lying, since he promised the old bag's family that he'd bring her her favorite nephew, and, since he's also all of a sudden religious, he's afraid of what God will think of him for breaking that promise. Greg has no bones about what he's doing, and pays an attendant to call his cell phone number in five minutes. Five minutes later, the whole gang are in the car on their way to the hospital. When Greg answers, he pretends like the hospital called to tell him that Claire has died. Jimmy gets miffed at him, takes out his own cell phone, and, without Greg seeing, dials Greg's number. When Greg's cell rings again, Jimmy snatches the phone away from him, answers it, and pretends that Cousin Paula called back to say that Claire didn't die; they revived her. Now Greg is stuck having to go the hospital. After they arrive, Jimmy calls Claire's family to inform them that they called the wrong number, and, because he can't bring himself to come clean with Kim, Greg has no choice but to enter Claire's hospital room, with Jimmy right behind him. When Claire spots Greg, she's so out of it that she doesn't even notice he isn't her favorite nephew, Clark. And it's not until after Jimmy makes him walk towards her bed and Claire hands him a necklace that Greg learns that Clark is actually her least favorite nephew; she only summoned him because she hates him so much, she wanted to put a curse on him. Her mission accomplished, the thinkable happens. She dies.

Greg and Jimmy's Criminals

Mr. Savitsky assigns Greg to look after a convicted criminal as part of a work release program he unknowingly agreed to. After getting drunk at a charity event, Mr. Savitsky makes good by offering the chief of police his studio to use as a work-release reformatory for criminals. Since Savitsky doesn't personally want to work with the criminals himself, he makes Greg and the other executives write down their names and put them in a hat, and Stewart is the not-so-lucky winner. But when Stewart reminds Savitsky that he's supposed to be going to London in a week on company business, Savitsky sticks it on Greg. Since Jimmy was a criminal himself in his younger years, he advises Greg to spend some time with his criminal and help make his transition to law-abiding citizen a smooth one. Greg refuses, but when Jimmy says he wants to help himself, Greg happily pawns his criminal, Hank, off on him. So Jimmy befriends Hank, and shows him around the security gate. Savitsky is perfectly fine with Greg handing over his dirty work, but after Jimmy accuses Greg of being a snob who won't congregate with anyone without money, Greg decides to show him by getting a new criminal, Curtis, to escort. Although Hank and Curtis aren't supposed to leave the lot, Jimmy offers to take Hank out to a bar and grill for better eats than the studio cafeteria offers, and Curtis wants Greg to take him, too. At lunch (where Greg and Jimmy let their criminals order beer), Greg learns that Curtis went to college for a a few semesters, is doing time for bank robbery because he ran out of tuition money, and knows how to use Microsoft® Excel. So Greg recommends that he get a job working with computers when he gets out, and offers to teach him how to use other software. After lunch, the four stop off at a convenience store, so Hank and Curtis can get some things, and Greg and Jimmy wait behind in the car. Greg thanks Jimmy for showing him the light; he's glad to have gotten the opportunity to help someone. Although they both feel they've done their part in reforming Hank and Curtis, when the criminals return to the car, they tell Greg to gun it -- they just robbed the store. After giving them a lecture, Greg and Jimmy take Hank's and Curtis' goody bags full of wallets, and go inside to return them to their rightful owners -- since Hank and Curtis threatened to kill the customers if they ever saw them again. That's when Greg and Jimmy find out that one of the victims was Savitsky. Savitsky is furious that Greg and Jimmy took the criminals off the lot, so an apologetic Greg asks his boss to step out to the car to talk with Hank and Curtis and let them explain. Unfortunately, Hank and Curtis are too busy stealing Greg's car to have that talk.

The Owner's Suite

Greg's open invitation to his parents and Kim to attend an L.A. Lakers game in the owner's suite doesn't pan out the way he wanted. To reward Greg for one of his bright ideas that saved the studio money, Mr. Savitsky decides to groom him to take over the reins in the unlikely event of his death. So he gives him four owner's suite tickets to a Lakers game, because that's the best place for Greg to schmooze important people. When he gets home, Greg tells his family about his tickets and his plans to fly in his parents to attend the game with him -- which Kim doesn't think is a good idea, due to the costs involved. Although Jimmy tries to get on Greg's good graces for that fourth ticket, Greg gives it to Kim. Tom and Natalie arrive, grumbling about their trip, and don't seem to care one bit when Greg surprises them with the tickets. Desperate to have his parents see his accomplishments in life, Greg tries to get them excited about the game. So does Jimmy, whose knowledge of basketball so impresses Natalie that she offers him her ticket. When Jimmy declines the offer, telling her that she should spend time with her son because he'd love to go to the game with his dad, Natalie offers Jimmy Kim's ticket, too. Greg reminds Jimmy that Big Jimmy doesn't have the money for a last-minute plane ticket, so Natalie furthers the blow by offering hers and Tom's frequent-flyer miles -- miles which she already promised Greg. After Big Jimmy flies in and meets Greg's parents, Jimmy gives him his surprise, and Big Jimmy's gratitude and excitement eats away at Greg. Greg, Tom, Jimmy and Big Jimmy show up at the Staples Center -- where Greg fears that Big Jimmy will embarrass him -- and Savitsky introduces them to Jeanie Buss, Vice President of Business Operations for The Lakers. Former Governor of California Gray Davis is also attending the game, and Jimmy and Big Jimmy are excited to meet him, but Greg can't even get Tom out of his seat to say one word to the guy. Tom is so disinterested that he doesn't even bother to watch the game, and Greg finally chews him out for not being more like Jimmy's father, and more importantly, not being proud of him. Tom swears that he is proud of him, but he just feels uncomfortable and out of place. To try to appease Greg, Tom goes up to Gray and introduces himself. But when they put their drinks down next to each other's and aren't sure whose is whose and Gray tells Tom that he'll just get a new drink since they're free, Tom gets insulted by Gray's implication and takes a potshot at his former governing abilities... or lack thereof. Tensions escalate between the two, Tom throws one of the drinks on Gray, and the two run out onto the court to continue their fight -- which is broadcast on national television.

The Premiere

When Greg disobeys Mr. Savitsky's orders to go see the premiere of Kevin Smith's new film, Jimmy takes his and Kim's studio badges, and he and Christine go in their place -- which has repercussions for Greg when Jimmy, who doesn't know what Kevin looks like, tells the director to his face that his movie is terrible. Greg grumbles when Mr. Savitsky asks him to go to the premiere of Kevin Smith's new film, The Red Nose of Courage, on behalf of the studio. Since Savitsky has made him go to numerous premieres -- and every time Greg has felt out of place -- Greg wants out of this premiere so bad that he decides to skip it, preferring instead to go with Kim to a pool party of a friend of hers that he hates. And since Savitsky is out of town, he won't be going himself, so nobody will be the wiser. Jimmy and Christine, meanwhile, are so hungry to live the high life that Greg has taken for granted that they decide to steal Greg's and Kim's studio IDs and pretend to be them at the event. After getting pampered with free food, drink and a goody bag, Jimmy and Christine settle in to watch the movie, which is set in a WWII POW camp and is about a circus clown turned army sargeant. But it's so terrible that Jimmy can't even watch the thing, and bails on it before it's over. After the film has ended, Kevin Smith is washing his hands in the men's room when Greg's co-worker, Jenkins, walks in, and tells the director that the audience loved it (which they didn't), and that people are talking Oscars (which they aren't). It's not until Jenkins exits and Jimmy -- who is oblivious to what Kevin Smith looks like -- enters the bathroom does Kevin find out just how much one person completely hated it. After Jimmy pans the film right to Kevin's face, Kevin looks at the name on "Jimmy's" ID. The day that Greg and Jimmy return to work, they're both in Greg's office when Savitsky comes in, asking Greg what he thought of the film and if he talked to Kevin. When Greg lies, Savitsky yells at him, because thanks to "him," Kevin told Savitsky that he never wants to work with the studio again. After threatening to fire Greg, who is understandably confused, Savitsky leaves, and Jimmy admits to Greg what he and Christine did. Greg chastises Jimmy the same way that Savitsky chastised him, but even though Jimmy tells him he plans to take full responsibility for what happened, that doesn't include going to Savitsky and confessing the truth. So Greg has to "persuade" Jimmy to do so by reminding him that he can't exactly continue to mooch off of him if he doesn't have a job. When the pair go into Savitsky's office, an angry Savitsky tells Greg that he just got off the phone with Kevin, who's willing to let bygones be bygones if Greg will apologize to him face-to-face. Greg expects Savitsky to fall at his feet after Jimmy clears the air, but now Savitsky has it in for both of them, since Greg didn't follow his orders and lied to his face. Savitsky comes up with a suitable punishment for both. Tomorrow, when Kevin stops by, Jimmy is going to continue pretending to be Greg, so Mr. Smith can get his in-person apology. And since they'll be down a security guard, Greg gets to fill in for Jimmy at the gate. Greg feels degraded when he's forced to put on Jimmy's uniform and go to work an hour and a half earlier, while Jimmy's slap-on-the-wrist sees him wearing casual duds, since his lack of a suit leads Savitsky to dub the day "Casual Thursday." Greg learns the ropes from Billy and Roy, and after he gets chewed out a third time by Savitsky for trying to hide his face in shame, Greg does his own damage control when Kevin drives up. He charms the pants off the director by professing his love for, and knowledge of, all his films, and then mentions that Greg Warner is a good guy... who suffers from Lyme Disease. Kevin gets his apology from Jimmy, and Jimmy tells him that he honestly loved the movie. But Kevin surprises him and Savitsky by saying that he was right; The Red Nose of Courage stinks. After Kevin evens the score by blasting Savitsky for failing to show up, he praises Jimmy -- er, Greg -- for having the cajones to tell it like it is. He also demands 10 million dollars for a month of reshoots. And since Kevin was so impressed by Greg's -- er, Jimmy's -- fandom, he asks Savitsky to have him work security the whole time he'll be reshooting.

Kim and Gordon

When Greg refuses to lend a helping hand in redecorating, Kim hires an interior decorator to design a fireplace for their living room. (Entry to be updated in the future)

A List Before Dying

After a near-death experience, Jimmy finds a list he made of everything he ever wanted to do in life but didn't -- and plans to do everything on it while he still can. When the security guards are asked to move a piano on the lot, Jimmy weasels Billy and Roy into doing the job -- and is nearly crushed to death when they accidentally push it out the window directly above the bench he's sitting on. Luckily for Jimmy, a bag of Skittles® he was attempting to open spills all over the ground, and saves his life when he stands up to pick up the mess. Possessing a new lease on life, Jimmy rifles through his childhood belongings, and finds a list he made when he was a kid, containing every task he ever wanted to accomplish before he dies... few of which he's actually accomplished. Things like hosting his own TV talk show, riding in a stock car with a NASCAR driver, fighting with a pro hockey player, writing a song and having it sung by a famous musician, and sleeping with a supermodel (the latter of which he changes to freakdancing with a supermodel to appease Christine). Kim, Christine and Greg all laugh at the list, so Jimmy puts them in their place and decides to check off every item on it without their help. The others all wind up feeling guilty for not being there when they hear that Billy and Roy are helping Jimmy write the song, so Christine tells him that she'll help him with the talk show hosting. They have a TV studio on her college campus, and she can arrange it so he can host one there. Aided by announcer Christine, sidekick Billy and one woman band Kim, Jimmy checks one thing off. At a club, Billy helps with the supermodel freakdancing -- he got Jimmy Fabio. At home, Greg helps Jimmy by scoring a singer who was on the lot shooting a music video. None other than John Hiatt, who pays a visit to the Warner house with guitar in hand to sing the song that Jimmy wrote with Billy and Roy, "Things I Think About at Work." Next, Jimmy sneaks into an ice hockey rink and picks a fight with "Mr. Hockey," Gordie Howe -- who subsequently beats the crap out of him. With 4 things down and 1 to go, Kim assists Jimmy with his final task. She writes a letter to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. about the list, and asks him to take her in-law for a spin in his race car. "Little E" buys into her story and shows up at Greg's house -- mistakenly thinking that Jimmy is dying. When Kim tries to set the record straight, Jimmy stifles her, and tells Dale, Jr. he has lubriderma. After throwing up in Dale's car, Jimmy ends the week by moping around depressed, because now that his life's goals are completed, he's got nothing to look forward to. Christine doesn't care to hear him whine after all she did for him, but Jimmy comes out of his funk when he sees that Dominic and Logan made a list of their own -- and they want him to help them complete it.

Couples Therapy

When Kim invites hers and Christine's mutual friends (a marriage counselor and his wife) over for a dinner party, and tries to get rid of Christine, Christine schemes to trash the event -- and forces Jimmy to join her. Greg expects a miserable evening when Kim invites her friends, Adam and Abby, over to dinner. After she tells him that Adam is a marriage therapist, he says he doesn't want to be judged by one. So she tries to make him feel better by letting him know that Christine, who's also friends with Abby, and Jimmy will be there, too. Only Greg is even more against that, since he anticipates Adam comparing their marriages. He wants to tell Jimmy and Christine to make themselves scarce on the big night, but Kim expects him to be blunt, and insists that she be the one to do it -- which she does by suggesting that the Hughes go out to eat, without letting Christine know she invited their mutual friend over. But when Christine tries to get them to join them, Kim comes clean about who's coming over. Which infuriates Christine. Although Jimmy couldn't care less, Christine is fed up with Kim and Greg treating them like idiots, and plans to get even by crashing the party. When she barges in, Abby sees her, and she uses Abby to get her and Jimmy invited. Jimmy doesn't want to be there any more than Greg wants them there, and after the Hughes get into an argument, they spill the beans to Adam. Adam then tells all four of them that they need couples therapy. Not husbands and wives, but sisters and in-laws. Greg thinks the idea is idiotic, but Kim once again talks him into it -- and he concurs after guessing that therapy usually splits "couples" up. Meanwhile, Jimmy changes his entire stance, and he and Christine both agree that getting Adam to take their side will be a great way to finally win an argument with the Warners -- something they can never do with Greg holding it over their heads how they live in his house rent-free. So the four all go down to Adam's office to try to work out their problems. First, Adam gets Christine to admit that she feels Kim is a "sneaky, little, passive-aggressive weasel." Then, Kim blames it all on Greg, claiming she's the scapegoat. Then, Greg admits he didn't want the Hughes at the dinner party, because all they do is take without giving. Then, when Jimmy gets mad that Greg plays the mooch card all the time and Adam asks if Greg has ever been graciously generous, Jimmy tells him about the one time when they were out eating, he asked Greg to let him pick up the check. But Greg told him it was his treat, and recommended he go to the bathroom when it comes. That's when Jimmy learns from Christine that there was more to the story -- he went to the bathroom, she and Kim came back, and Greg joked to the women that Jimmy's bladder always kicks in before the check arrives. After the Hughes take turns trashing Greg for setting Jimmy up, Adam tells Greg that his control issues are the problem, and likely stem from a childhood incident. Demanding that he dig deep to find the source, Greg tells a sad story of how he was 11 and going to Camp Wrigley, and there was this girl named Georgia that he had his eye on and liked to share his cupcakes with. But these two bullies, William and Mary, used to order him to hand over his cupcakes -- and everything else -- making him look like a loser in front of her. Analyzing the situation, Adam concludes that Greg subconsciously sees Kim as Georgia and William and Mary as Jimmy and Christine. After he tells them his work is done and they all leave, Adam looks around his office, and notices that his calendar says it's the 11th, he's eating a cupcake, and there's a photo of Wrigley Field on his wall, along with his diplomas from the University of Georgia and William and Mary College.

Shirley Cooks with Love

Greg surprises Jimmy and Christine with a wedding video for their anniversary, but the trip down memory lane is not a happy one... for anyone. For Jimmy's and Christine's anniversary, Greg gives them a video of their wedding that he personally "directed" himself. He even managed to get One Day at a Time's Pat Harrington, Jr. to host it. Jimmy, Christine, Greg and Kim all settle down on the living room couch to watch. As the events of the big day, May 3, 1994, unfold, Jenny wonders how Jimmy will be able to support Christine after getting fired from his job, Best Man Billy attempts to conquer his nerves before giving his big speech -- through alcohol, Kitty can't seem to get her act together on time, and Jimmy's pants and Big Jimmy's socks are MIA. When Jimmy and Christine finally have their wedding dance, Kim spoils the event by announcing that Greg just proposed to her, putting all eyes in the room on them. When Christine sees that incident was showcased in Greg's tape, she gets up and tells Kim and Greg off for ruining her wedding and being selfish. Unaware until now that Christine was mad at them her entire wedding day, Greg blurts out that he thought she looked mad that day because Jimmy got cold feet (due to his financial instability) and wanted to jilt Christine. Since Christine didn't know that, that makes one more person she's mad at. When Kim needles Jimmy for trying to leave her sister at the altar, Jimmy blurts out that Greg never intentionally proposed; while Greg was trying to talk him into going through with the wedding, Kim was listening to the whole thing in the bathroom, and mistakenly thought Greg's marriage speech to him was to her. And so everybody hates everyone.

Living with Savitsky

Jimmy's kind gesture of chauffeuring Mr. Savitsky, whose driver's license was revoked, is repaid in full when Mr. Savitsky invites him, Christine and the kids to come live in his guest house. But they all soon find out how much living with Mr. Savitsky is like living with Mr. Warner. Mr. Savitsky's driver's license is suspended after he gets his second D.U.I., and he offers Jimmy and Billy the chance to make some extra money driving him to and from work. The two duke it out via a little game of paper football, Jimmy wins, and while Driving Mister Savitsky home, he hears stories of how lonely his boss is with no wife and no Playmate to keep him company. So he invites Savitsky over to the Warners for dinner. To return the favor, Savitsky invites him and his family to come have dinner at his huge mansion. Dominic and Logan run amok at the place, which embarrasses Jimmy and Christine, but Savitsky, who is a whiz with children, tells them to let the kids have fun in his house... whenever they want. After dinner, Savitsky shows Jimmy and Christine his own guest house. He wants them to move in. Jimmy and Christine are taken back by the offer, which Savitsky sweetens by telling them how great the school district is. Realizing they've worn out their welcome with Greg, Jimmy is immediately sold, but Christine thinks it's weird -- until she learns that Savitsky's stuffy, English butler, Coleman, will be serving them their meals. A saddened Kim helps the Hughes move their boxes into their luxurious new digs, but Greg is all-too-happy to kick their crap out and be rid of them. While Jimmy and Christine are living the high life with Coleman waiting on them hand on foot, Savitsky takes the kids off their hands. Logan is turning 6 next week, and he spends the whole time they're out talking about his birthday. So when Savitsky comes home, he asks Jimmy and Christine what they're planning to do in regards to a party. Even though they tell him they're going to have it over at Greg's, Savitsky takes it upon himself to ask Logan if he'd rather have his party here. Jimmy and Christine agree to change the location, but not the size of it -- Savitsky wants to throw a huge bash, and they want to keep things simple. But Savitsky goes behind their back, and turns his backyard into a carnival, complete with a roller-hockey monkey. After the party's over, Jimmy and Christine tell Savitsky off for defying them. Instead of agreeing not to second-guess their parenting in the future, Savitsky insinuates that they're bad parents, because they don't push Dominic and Logan hard enough. For instance, they haven't forced them to take up musical instruments. Realizing Mr. Savitsky is twenty times the control freak that Greg is, Jimmy and Christine decide to leave. But Dominic and Logan don't want to go -- until Savitsky tries to get them to take an oboe lesson. And poor Greg loses his brand-new home theater room.

I Wish That I Had Sammy's Girl

Jimmy Has Changed

Headshot

High School Reunion

Greg's New Assistant

Quitters Never Dance

The New Neighbors

Tree Hugger

A Little Breathing Room

The Radford Reshuffle

Won't Ask, Won't Tell

Senior Olympics

Broken by the Mold