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George and Mildred (1976)
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Moving On
George and Mildred go house hunting and find their dream house in an up market part of town but their neighbours (the Fourmiles) do not want them to move in. Jeffery Fourmile pretends that the house has been sold until the Ropers find out the truth.
The Bad Penny
The Ropers finally move into their new house and to help things along Ann Fourmile invites them in for afternoon tea. When they get back home they find themselves locked out and the bath water running away.
... And Women Must Weep
George is talked into applying for a job, but Mildred gets the job instead.
Baby Talk
Mildred starts getting maternal feelings after babysitting for the Fourmiles. She tries to convince George that they should adopt a baby but she settles for a puppy instead.
Your Money or Your Life
When a relation dies Mildred finds that the cost of a funeral is beyond their means but is surprised to find that George has no insurance. Jeffrey Fourmile will provide the cover but then George changes his mind.
Where My Caravan Has Rested
George sells his old car and buys a clapped old caravan and dumps it on his front lawn. When Mildred's sister and her husband come to stay they use the Roper's room so George stays in the caravan until it is towed away to the breakers yard.
The Little Dog Laughed
George takes the dog for a walk only to come back without it He then has to buy a replacement only for the police to find the dog and bring it home
Best Foot Forward
George borrows a ladder from the Fourmile's to fix the TV aerial When Jeffrey moves the ladder George falls of the roof and breaks his leg and threatens to sue
My Husband Next Door
Mildred wants the front room decorated while George is on holiday but he is so lazy that Mildred has to bring in a firm of decorators but they turn up at the Fourmiles house by mistake and get to work So Georhe and Mildred have to redecorate while the Fourmiles are on holiday
Family Planning
Mildred's mother comes to stay but the family think that she is getting to old to look after herself so decide to put her into a home But George unexpectedly takes her side and asks her to stay on with them
Jumble Pie
Mildred is asked to contribute to the local church jumble sale so decides to clear out all George's old gardening books only to find out that they are porn books that George has been collecting They rush to the church and have to buy them back off Jeffrey Fourmile's stall without the vicar finding out
All Around the Clock
George buys a carriage clock for Mildred's birthday only to find out that the Fourmile's have been burgled and the clock might belong to them
The Travelling Man
Mildred rents out the back bedroom to a travelling salesman much to George's consternation Later he thinks that they are having an affair
The Unkindest Cut of All
Mildred's sister Ethel and her husband Humphrey are coming round for a meal but George has forgotten to pay the electricity bill
The Right Way to Travel
Mildred wants George to join the local Tory party so they qualify for a cheap holiday When they are accepted they learn that the holiday is all sold out so they try Blackpool instead but the Labour Party are holding their conference and all the hotels are full
The Dorothy Letters
When clearing out the loft Mildred finds some old love letters in George's handwriting but which he never posted She confronts him and they turn out to be fan letters to a Hollywood star
No Business Like Show Business
The Fourmile's are running the Christmas Pantomime but are short of an ugly sister so Mildred is asked to stand in but she loses her voice so George takes her place
Opportunity Knocks
Mildred has a coffee morning but only Ann from next door turns up Jerry asks George if he has any money that he can put into a deal so George tries to sell the house behind Mildred's back
And So to Bed
The Roper's bed finally collapses after 25 years so Mildred decides to buy a new one but George thinks that the nearest bookmaker is the best chance of getting the money
I Believe in Yesterday
Mildred gets a visit from a G.I. that she met during the war George decides that he can play the same game so he consults his ' little black book '
Life with Father
George's father has been asked to leave the old peoples home so he asks George if he can come and live with them
Days of Beer and Rosie
While having a drink in a pub George meets a man who claims to be his long lost son
You Must Have Showers
After seeing the Fourmile's Bathroom Mildred decides to have a new shower installed After several quotes Jerry gets the job but connects the wrong pipe and the Fourmile's lose their water
All Work and No Pay
George has resigned from his job but has trouble telling Mildred
Nappy Days
Mildred goes to pottery class leaving George to look after the Fourmile's baby then he gets a phone call offering him a place on the pub's darts team
The Mating Game
Mildred wants her dog to have a litter of puppies but George sees it as a way of making money
On the Second Day of Christmas
The Roper's are having a very boring Christmas so the Fourmiles invite them over for a drink George then challenges Tristram to a game of computer tennis After beating him George gives Jeffrey a game and ends up losing 16 games in a row and running up a large dept
Finders Keepers?
It's the Roper's wedding anniversary and George has bought her an expensive looking coat When she asks him where the money came from she discovers that he has found somebody's credit card
In Sickness and in Health
When Mildred goes into hospital George invites Jerry to move in with him
The Last Straw
Mildred is unhappy at her lack of social success and thinks about emigrating to Australia
A Driving Ambition
Mildred starts having driving lessons but George thinks she is having an affair
A Military Pickle
George becomes a wanted man when his double deserts from the army
Fishy Business
George lets his goldfish swim in the sink and it's goodbye to Moby
I Gotta Horse
Mildred sees a photograph of an expensive antique in a magazine It looks just like the one that she has got hidden away upstairs
The Twenty Six Year Itch
Mildred wants to go to the Tories Christmas ball but George has other ideas