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The very first episode of what was to become one the best loved comedy series of all time. After listening to a radio broadcast asking for men to form what was to become known as the home guard, George Mainwaring a local bank manager decides to act and form the platoon on his own. He gets his chief clerk Wilson as the platoon sergeant, the banks office boy Pike, and several of the local tradesmen, Included the local Funeral director (Frazer) the butcher (LCpl Jones), and Walker who has a black market business.The result was a triumph for all concerned
With the shortage of weapons, Capt Mainwaring goes to the local museum, to see if any of the guns that are on display can be used, by the platoon.
Capt Mainwaring worried about the lack of weapons gets a visit from a Capt Square an old soldier who offers to donate some guns from his collection providing that he can take command of the platoon. Mainwaring agrees until he sees the state of the guns.
Capt Mainwaring is giving a lecture on recognizing enemy agents when he learns that for every Nazi that they capture there is a reward Later on the section on patrol capture two German flyers but back at HQ Godfrey accidently lets them escape
Just when the platoon finally get their uniforms LCpl Jones is told that unless he can complete the assault course in 15 minutes he will have to leave So Mainwaring and the rest of the platoon think of a plan to help him
When news that the Prime Minister is to pay a visit to the area a shooting contest is held to see which of the local platoons will form the honor guard Walker gets a crack shot from the theatre touring show ( Barbara Windsor ) to take part as a member of the platoon but a surprise is in store for everybody
When six members of the Highland Regiment attack the Warmington On Sea's H.Q. The platoon have to come up with a scheme to capture the attackers
When the church bells start to ring the platoon leap into action Jones takes half the platoon to Godfrey's cottage to set up a machine gun post While Wilson not knowing where Jones has gone also heads for the cottage where they both mistake each other for German's and prepare to attack
Walker is finally called up but Mainwaring tries to get his call up differed because of his value to the platoon but he is still ordered to go only to find out that he is allergic to the army's corn beef
Sergeant Wilson overhears Mrs Pike telling Frank ,that she is expecting a child. Wilson assumes that she is pregnant and that he is the father, but it turns out that she is looking after an evacuee. Mainwaring advises that Wilson marry her , until she clears up the misunderstanding.
Capt Mainwaring promotes Frazer to Lance Corporal thus causing friction between him and Jones When Frazer starts getting above himself Mainwaring cancels the promotion
The platoon are fire watching when they see a man using a torch Convinced that they have discovered a spy they arrest him only to find that they have made a terrible mistake
Walker suggests to Jones that he lend his van to the platoon as troop transport. Mr Hodges the greengrocer takes over as Chief Air Raid Warden
The platoon go a weekend battle school but after a train journey and a long march they arrive late and miss the meal The main part of the course consists of the platoon trying to capture the 'enemy's camp' held by a Capt Rodriques and his men This task looks impossible until Mainwaring finds a secret passage
Capt Mainwaring teaches the platoon the tactical use of the phone system when a German plane crashes into the towns reservoir. Because Mainwaring and Wilson cannot decide what to do it is left to Walker to come up with a plan to make the Germans surrender
When a low flying German aircraft. attacks Warmington On Sea. the platoon under the command of Lance Cpl Jones, fire at the aircraft, and use up all their ammunition. Mainwaring is furious, and orders an investigation.
During an air raid an unexploded bomb lands on the bank Mainwaring and Wilson find where the bomb has landed and secure it until the bomb disposal people arrive.
Capt Mainwaring is found not to have held the Kings Commission so he is reduced to the ranks and Sgt Wilson takes over command of the platoon After a disastrous war game against the Eastgate Platoon his men ask the Colonel for him to be reinstated
The platoon have taken charge of a large field gun and have to learn how to use it
The platoon captures a runaway barrage balloon and while trying to secure it Capt Mainwaring is carried aloft
The platoon hold a dance where Pike is going to announce his engagement to a local girl Sgt Wilson tries to get him to change his mind but Pike will not be put off.
The platoon are assigned guard duty on an isolated, disused pier for a week. However thanks to Pike's poor judgment over what to tie the boat too, they end up stranded with no contact with the mainland and no food. Attempts at Morse code only prompt Hodges to pursue the platoon to get them to 'Put that light out!' and he ends up stranded himself. If that wasn't enough Jones spots a mine has floated under the pier, but does Hodges have a solution that'll 'bowl them over'?
Godfrey asks to leave the platoon because he doesn't want to fight Mainwaring is furious and the rest of the platoon shun him until they find out that he was a hero from the first war So he rejoins the platoon as medical orderly
The platoon are told to be on the lookout for any parachutes found lying about so Walker tells Mainwaring that he has found one. They also take on a dog which they use to track an escaped German pilot but accidently arrest a bird watcher
The search begins for a spring clip for a Lewis gun that Frazer has lost while he was cleaning it. The trail leads them through Frazer's workshop to a Funeral Director, to Mr. Bluett's dining room table, to a grave yard. The platoon stop at nothing, committing various crimes including house breaking and grave robbing to get the clip back. But will they find it in time to save Frazer from a court-marshal?
Capt Mainwaring comes up with the idea of small armed patrols to wreak havoc with the enemy using a small reprocessed boat the bank has acquired After a practice on the river they get lost in the fog and they think they have drifted across the channel and are about to be captured by the German's but they are in for a shock when they find out where they really are.
The platoon captures a runaway barrage balloon and while trying to secure it Capt Mainwaring is carried aloft
The platoon hold a dance where Pike is going to announce his engagement to a local girl Sgt Wilson tries to get him to change his mind but Pike will not be put off.
The platoon are assigned to set up a machine gun post at the end of the pier but when Pike fails to tie up the rowing boat that brought them from the shore they find themselves stranded but little do they know where the danger will come from
Godfrey asks to leave the platoon because he doesn't want to fight Mainwaring is furious and the rest of the platoon shun him until they find out that he was a hero from the first war So he rejoins the platoon as medical orderly
The platoon are told to be on the lookout for any parachutes found lying about so Walker tells Mainwaring that he has found one. They also take on a dog which they use to track an escaped German pilot but accidently arrest a bird watcher
Frazer is put on a charge for losing a spring from the machine gun which renders it useless After a long search they find Frazer had it all the time
Capt Mainwaring comes up with the idea of small armed patrols to wreak havoc with the enemy using a small reprocessed boat the bank has acquired After a practice on the river they get lost in the fog and they think they have drifted across the channel and are about to be captured by the German's but they are in for a shock when they find out where they really are.
LCpl Jones goes to a reunion of his old regiment While he is away an old comrade that fought in the same battle joins the platoon and accuses Jones of cowardice On his return Jones has to tell the real story
Captain Mainwaring decides to enlist women to the platoon to assist with the war effort. After initial interviews go rather less than satisfactory, a Mrs. Fiona Grey walks into his office and into his life. Mainwaring is flattered that Fiona not only has similar views to him about the war, but also is complementary about his persona. He finds himself falling in love, unfortunately the men very quickly realise and start to gossip behind his back and Fiona decides to leave, but can Mainwaring get to the station in time to stop her?
In a cricket Match between the platoon and the air raid wardens, Chief Warden Hodges has a secret weapon up his sleeve. He plans to use England's fast bowler Fred Trueman, but all does not go as planed.
Sgt Wilson becomes a manager of his own branch and gets a commission on the same day but hours later his new branch has been destroyed during an air raid Mainwaring offers him his old job back and his old rank.
When the A.R.P. Headquarters has been destroyed Hodges and the wardens move into Mainwarings Office and the two of them start arguing over space Later the chimney catches fire and they have to work together to put the fire out
While the platoon are at a training camp Mainwaring gets drunk with the other officers during the night and misses the live grenade training the following morning. Later during the training one of the grenades lands in Jones van and Mainwaring rides to the rescue
A bomb hits the gasworks where Godfrey and Walker are on duty and the platoon and Hodges go to rescue them from a small room in which Godfrey is asleep. Jones,who is in an outer chamber,slams the door,bringing the roof down and everyone except Jones is in the small room,which is rapidly filling with water. Eventually,after Hodges and Pike both get soaked,they escape from the cell, but,thanks to Godfrey shutting the door so that nobody catches a cold,they are till trapped in the building and Wilson has to wade through the water and out of the hatch to summon help.
When the War Office plans a review of both Home Gurd and ARP in order to decide which less fitter soldiers of the first and less fitt of the second should be transferred to the other corps, the last thing either's men want, all tricks go to look younger viz. older. So after a field exercise proves the platoon's fitness is at best questionable, Meanwearing tries a terrible toupee, Wilson wears a corset, Frazer and Walker earn well from 'beautician' uses of frankly unsuitable substances.
The platoon are at the cinema watching a Greta Garbo film but only Mainwaring stands to attention for the National Anthem and gets knocked over by the others rushing for the exit. On the bus home they encounter Hodges, who is rude to the bus conductress. Mainwaring defends her but again gets knocked down as the men hurry to get off for last orders. After getting the men to stand for the anthem on parade next day - though Wilson accidentally plays the German anthem - Mainwaring falls out with his wife and has a toasted cheese supper with Wilson and Jones. He falls ...
Rumours abound when Sergeant Wilson is seen with his arm around an attractive young woman in a WREN's uniform, causing an argument between himself and Mainwaring who catches him sleeping off a hangover in the church hall. Suddenly pigeons appear - Walker has got them to sell to Jones in the absence of other meat but he has yet to kill them, which he eventually does. However,a radio report reveals the disappearance of pigeons from Trafalgar Square,so he hides them in the organ loft and out they fly when Jones plays the organ. The young lady with Wilson is actually his ...
The platoon are on an exercise whereby everyone except for Godfrey and Jones ends up in a deserted barn. Jones sees from the map that they have been given the wrong reference and the barn will be blown up in half an hour as part of a live ammunition exercise. They try to phone up but Godfrey cuts the wire by mistake. To add to their plight Jones's van has broken down,so he has to take the colonel's car to reach the barn and warn the platoon in time.
After another of Mainwaring's long, creative 'vital' lectures, Jock is appointed spokesman to complain that the men have had enough of wasting their time. Mainwaring tries a suggestion from the manual: the troublemaker is to have a go at being an officer. 'Captain' James Frazer proves an even worse tyrant, demotes and promotes but impresses the new area commander, fellow Scotsman Major General Menzies. When everyone is back to their real rank, an invitation arrives, meant for Jock, who didn't mention the charade. The invite is to play the pipes with some men in the HQ...
The platoon's first-ever private party, thrown by the captain at his disappointingly plain home, proves un-amusing. It's cut short anyhow by a bomb alert - a hit on his bank! The money is carried to the church, counted painstakingly with typical bumbling and tension then carried off, but the captain drives the horse cart with new disastrous consequences.
The platoon finally got a fast-repeating gun, so Frank is obsessed to hold the 'Chicago piano' he is familiar with from gangster movies. The captain considers Mr. Godfrey mad for asking for three days off, until he finds out it's to help with a former lover's 100 acres wheat harvest. Unfortunately Jones is the only one who has a clue how the threshing machine works, so while Joe frolics with three useless farm girls the hilarious bumbling takes its toll, not in the least from ever over-enthusiastic Jones, who gets 'exposed'
Jones has been entrusted with five hundred pounds by local shopkeepers but when he brings it to the bank he finds he has a pound of sausages instead. Frazer hypnotizes him into recalling when he last saw the money, apparently stuffing a chicken for Mr. Bluett,but there is no money in the chicken. various suggestions as to its whereabouts are made until it is eventually found.
At a business community function, where both Wilson and Walker outshine him, captain Mainwaring accepts a challenge to prove his men are a match for the Home Guard's new, regularly trained, physically superior commando's. Their display of 'brains over brawn' should eliminate the commandos-guarded fuel depot by getting a fake bomb there. A far-fetched plan, dressed up as firemen, ends in the usual brave bumbling from the braves and the for once collaborating verger. Surprises come from a real fire and real brains.
Captain Square ridicules Mainwaring for the pitiful state of some of his men's rifles. The captain rudely denies it but internally blames it all on Wilson's lax inspection techniques and general poor style. Worse is to come when the A.R.P. have George Mainwaring formally charged for an un-obscured light emanating from the church where his platoon is. The verger warns Hodges it's a false accusation and the platoon rehearses their lie. Mainwaring defends himself and the presiding magistrate is none other than the still offended Square.
S5, Ep12 Dec. 22, 1972 Round and Round Went the Great Big Wheel In 1941 the War office decides to test an experimental invention for delivering explosives. For secrecy the test is done on the coast, using three local Home Guard platoons. Mainwaring's vanity is used to make him volunteer blindly for 'special duties', which turn out to be the dirty work. However the weapon gets away, following Frank's illegal home-made radio, and only the bumbling bunch is in a position to stop it blowing up all Walmington on Sea.
The platoon is called to seize a German pilot, who got stuck parachute-jumped on the bomb-damaged church hall tower clock. Getting him down is hard enough, given the language barrier. Then Jones manages to drop the ladder, the warden refuses to help. Even the clock's hourly knighthood fight display figures seems to remember it's German-made. Luckily, the vicar listened to fairy tales as well as Wilson.
The platoon finally get to grips with the enemy when they have to guard some Nazi Submariners but the Germans turn the tables on Mainwaring and try to escape but somehow Jones ends up with a grenade down his trousers
The Platoon decide to give a party to the visiting American troops.When the Yanks start to get fresh with the platoon's girl friends, all hell lets loose.
When news that the King is to travel through Warmington-On-Sea, by train, Capt Mainwaring and the platoon, are detailed to provide an honor guard,then the local stopping train breaks down on the main line,and the King's train is due any time.
The platoon have gone away to a camp to undergo an efficiency test Meanwhile Walker has a van load of onions to sell to Hodges Later with no blank shells to use on the test Mainwaring has a brain wave and he uses the onions as ammunition to pass the test
When a relative of Sergeant Wilson dies, he inherits the title, Then when a Russian factory worker visits the town, to boost Anglo-Russian relations,Mainwaring has been asked to present the key of the town, until the mayor hears about Wilson's title, and asks Mainwaring to step down.
The platoon get lost on a wild and stormy night and have to take shelter in a old and deserted house that is used for training tracking dogs When Pike gets his uniform wet he changes it for an old German uniform but when the dogs get loose, they chase Pike and the platoon across the fields
Capt Mainwaring has gone into hospital for an operation on an ingrowing toenail Meanwhile Wilson as acting C O has Asked the Vicar and the Verger to join the platoon to make up the numbers
As all the road signs have been removed from the area the platoon are ordered to put up temporary ones to help a large convoy on maneuvers that is due to drive through the area but due to the condition of the ground the platoon's van gets stuck in the mud
Pike gets his head caught in the park railings and the platoon are summoned to help meanwhile a large bomb has exploded near the town and has put the gas and electricity supplies out of order When Mainwaring returns to hear what has happened he puts the town under martial law
While on maneuvers the platoon come in contact with an escaped gorilla
The platoon are dressed as Morris Dancers for a local show when Jones comes to Capt Mainwaring with a problem concerning Mrs Fox Jones thinks she is seeing the town clerk and wants Mainwaring to sort it out for him
Lady Maltby offers her Rolls Royce to Capt Mainwaring for use as his staff car. After the car has been disguised with camouflage paint, it has to be repainted black, because the Mayor's car has run out of petrol, and there no official car to greet a visiting V.I.P.
When the platoon accidentally shoot a turkey they try and return it to the local farmer but he will not accept it so the men come up with the idea of providing a dinner for the local O.A.P's
The Colonel orders Mainwaring and the platoon to make a training film with a couple of well known actors but unknown to Mainwaring they are to play the Germans Mainwaring refuses to take part but the rest of the platoon are ordered to When the filming is cancelled Mainwaring and the men still dressed as German soldiers are spotted in the local pub and the alarm is given
Pike finally gets his call up papers and is to join the Airforce but when his blood that has been donated for the red cross is checked it is found to be from a rare group and he is excused military service Then he has to find a way to break the news to the platoon
Godfrey's cottage is due to be demolished to make way for a new airfield but Frazer knowing the family history of the General in charge persuades him to get the airfield moved instead
Capt Mainwaring gives a lecture on fieldcraft in the vicar's garden He covers what to eat and how to erect a tent Later on maneuvers they come across three German flyers who have been shot down and are trapped in their dinghy in the middle of the lake
Cpl Jones has problems with his bank account. When Mainwaring tries to help, he finds that the trail leads through the platoon, on to Mrs Pike, and ends with Mr Hodges.
When Cpl Jones accidently gets his face put on a wanted posted for an escaped POW, he is arrested and imprisoned When Mainwaring and the platoon go to help, they are also arrested.
When the town of Warmington On Sea is becoming apathetic about the war effort Mainwaring decides to shake them up so he gets the platoon to dress up as spies and to march around the town looking suspicious finally the alarm is given and Capt Square's platoon give chase
Capt Mainwaring is to be an umpire in a war game exercise so he gets the use of a car Pike meets a girl and uses the car to take her out but they stay out all night and the whole town is shocked
During a ' Wings For Victory ' fundraising event the platoon decide to stage a reenactment of the battle between St George and the Dragon but friction starts when Hodges and the wardens plan the same thing
The word goes round that Frazer is hoarding gold coins so Mainwaring tries to get him to put them into the bank but Frazer refuses and has a surprise in store for everybody
The platoon take over from the regular army in guarding some vital telephone wires During an air raid a bomb lands in the wires and a way has to be found to get it down before it explodes
L|CPL Jones wants to marry Mrs Fox but has to get Capt Mainwarings permission During the reception an invasion alert is called and Jones spends his wedding night on the beach doing guard duty